Being YOUR Best Self

Recently my friend, a fabulous therapist in Boston, posted something on her instagram and asked the question "if it weren't for social media, would you still do it?" Man, that question stopped me in my tracks.  It has had me thinking every since. 

How many things have I wanted to buy or do because the idea came from someone who had it or done it and posted a beautiful picture of it on instagram?  How many experience have I had simply to take a picture of it and post it? How often have I gone out of my way to curate a beautiful picture?  How many moments have I actually missed because I was consumed with social media instead of being present in my life?

There are pros and cons to social media.  I love the fact that I can keep in touch with friends all over the place.  I love being exposed to places, people, and cultures from around the world.  I hate the fact that it removes us from authenticity.  I don't like the comparison and anxiety it brings from striving to keep up.  I despise that our humanity is removed and people feel like they can be cruel to others.

Think about it, how many times have you done something for the sake of or as a result of social media?

A personal goal of mine is to spend less time on my phone and more time experiencing life.  When I reflect on the times that have brought me the most joy; it's those where I did things purely for me.  I have the best time, am my happiest, and my best self when I stay true to myself. 

We are all made unique.  That is what makes us special.  I have different interests and talents than that girl that may look like she has it all on social media.  I don't need my life to be like hers, or anyone else's for that matter.  I was made me for a purpose.  While I may not always know what that purpose is, I definitely will not find it trying to live like someone else.

This year, let's focus on the things that truly matter. Do the things that bring you joy.  Even if no one else seems to be doing it.  Be brave.  Try something new. Live out your life and your purpose. For you.  Not for social media.  Eliminate distractions. Get back to the simple things.  Explore. Celebrate this adventure of life we get to live.

Building Healthy Habits

I am a dreamer.  Filled with ideas constantly flowing through my mind. Also, I spend a good deal of time reflecting on ways to improve.  Sometimes, I have such lofty goals and ideas that I tend to overwhelm myself. I am also a classic over thinker.  I can think myself out of anything making it seem so much bigger than it really is.

I have found that incorporating healthy routines into my daily life have been not only less daunting but inspires me to keep on going.

Instead of making a big deal out of everything.  I think about my goals as daily tasks or routines.  Not only does that bring less anxiety for me it brings more peace. I have also found so much more freedom.  I have time to do more because my healthy goals are now simply habits that I practice daily.  My mind isn't occupied thinking about how to get x, y, & z done.

I have built my daily routines around things that are important to me and my overall health and wellbeing.  I spend time doing the things that are meaningful.  They may be simple and don't take a lot of time but I know they make a big impact on my day and health.

Spend some time thinking about things that you want to start adding into your day.  Start doing it a little bit each day.  Push through the resistance that will come to fall back in old habits.  Then one day you won't even think about them any more they will simply be part of your day.

Thinking about goals as habits are a game changer.

Add something new to your routine and see how it changes your mindset and well being.

How Gratitude is Life Changing

Hello sweet friends,

It has been a while but I am back, in this new year, feeling inspired to write again.  I go through stages with this blog, an identity crisis of sorts, much like life; not really knowing what I want to write or share and what I want this space to be.  But, after some reflection, I keep coming back to this passion of mine which is wellness and living my best life.  I have a heart for helping others do that as well.  In my day job I help kids realize their strengths and how to solve problems.  My dream for this blog is to be a place for people to come to feel inspired by my life and stories to put their best foot forward and live their best life, whatever that looks like.

I have struggles and am by no means perfect but I am learning every single day.

On thing I have learned is practicing gratitude daily.  I have mentioned gratitude a lot on this blog before, type it in the search bar and half a dozen posts at least come up. 

If you look up gratitude in the dictionary the definition is: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. You see the word itself is a noun but the end of the definition [to return kindness] that is a verb, an action of returning kindness to the things and people you are grateful for.  Pretty powerful stuff.  

There are plenty of studies on gratitude which explains how it truly helps change our mindset.  I even teach gratitude to my students as a coping skill for when they are upset or suicidal because it truly does get you out of that dark place. 

I struggle with anxiety.  My anxiety comes from a place of striving for perfection and not feeling good enough. I have to actively avoid social media because I will get myself stuck in comparison.  I know my triggers but it is something I have to work toward daily. 

A few months ago, I started journaling ten things that I am grateful for every single day.  I didn't really think much of it, I am already an avid journal writer.  I didn't realize how much that simple act would change my life.  I don't spend much time on it.  Sometimes one of my ten things I am grateful for that day is my cup of coffee or my dog, to other things like a sweet conversation I had with a friend, or the fact that my bills are always paid, etc. You get the picture. 

In finding ten things a day I am grateful for a few things happened.  I started noticing things.  I paid more attention to the world around me, not only that but the good things around me.  I actually spent less money! I was more appreciative of the things I already have so I didn't feel the need to buy something new to "keep up" My anxiety decreased significantly.  I didn't let the little things get to me so much or get worked up about my to do list or what others were thinking.  I simply felt different, it's hard to explain, but lighter and happier somehow.  My boyfriend mentioned he noticed the change in me as well.

You guys, this gratitude practice works.  Actively writing down and thinking of things you are thankful for not only changes you from the inside but other people notice it as well.

In 2019 challenge yourself to practice gratitude and see how your world changes for the better. 

Be Kind to Yourself

The new year brings about a feeling of a fresh start for all.  Many are embracing resolutions and the "new year, new me" mindset.  Along with that comes a certain amount of guilt, whether it is thinking of bad habits we have built from the previous year or the negativity that comes whenever you might slip up from your new year goals.

I am so guilty of starting new goals, taking on so much more that I can handle in an effort to change, and then 3 weeks later giving up which leads to falling back into the old routines I was so desperate to change.  My narrative becomes "Why can't I ever complete anything? Why can't I see this through to the end?" Truly believing that I won't be able to finish so what's the point, right?

Then after a week or so of making unhealthy choices I am beating myself up, getting a new idea in my head of how to change, and the cycle starts all over again.  Then I put my worth in what I accomplish instead of who I truly am.

This is not okay.

So many of us do this.  We give ourselves value based on what we are able to get done, how much of the to do list was checked off that day, or even what other people might say or think of us.

That is not who I am.  That is not who you are.  I am a daughter of the king who created me to be  exactly what He wanted.  I am also worth so much more than giving up on myself and breaking promises that I make to myself.

Rachel Hollis discusses this idea in her book: Girl, Wash Your Face.  Do yourself a favor and read it.  But what really hit me in the face and spoke truth to my soul was this concept of breaking promises to myself.  I do this to myself all. the. time.

I am so much better than that.  I am worth keeping a commitment to myself, more than anyone else.  In sticking to my promises to myself I am proving my worth to myself, I am telling myself I am good enough and I am going to see this through. I am being kind to myself first and foremost because I matter.

So in this season of goals and resolutions, do yourself a favor, show up.  Follow through.  Keep your commitments.  Be kind to yourself.  You are proving to yourself and everyone else that you are worth it.