Be Kind to Yourself

The new year brings about a feeling of a fresh start for all.  Many are embracing resolutions and the "new year, new me" mindset.  Along with that comes a certain amount of guilt, whether it is thinking of bad habits we have built from the previous year or the negativity that comes whenever you might slip up from your new year goals.

I am so guilty of starting new goals, taking on so much more that I can handle in an effort to change, and then 3 weeks later giving up which leads to falling back into the old routines I was so desperate to change.  My narrative becomes "Why can't I ever complete anything? Why can't I see this through to the end?" Truly believing that I won't be able to finish so what's the point, right?

Then after a week or so of making unhealthy choices I am beating myself up, getting a new idea in my head of how to change, and the cycle starts all over again.  Then I put my worth in what I accomplish instead of who I truly am.

This is not okay.

So many of us do this.  We give ourselves value based on what we are able to get done, how much of the to do list was checked off that day, or even what other people might say or think of us.

That is not who I am.  That is not who you are.  I am a daughter of the king who created me to be  exactly what He wanted.  I am also worth so much more than giving up on myself and breaking promises that I make to myself.

Rachel Hollis discusses this idea in her book: Girl, Wash Your Face.  Do yourself a favor and read it.  But what really hit me in the face and spoke truth to my soul was this concept of breaking promises to myself.  I do this to myself all. the. time.

I am so much better than that.  I am worth keeping a commitment to myself, more than anyone else.  In sticking to my promises to myself I am proving my worth to myself, I am telling myself I am good enough and I am going to see this through. I am being kind to myself first and foremost because I matter.

So in this season of goals and resolutions, do yourself a favor, show up.  Follow through.  Keep your commitments.  Be kind to yourself.  You are proving to yourself and everyone else that you are worth it.

Sweet School Moments

I am a school counselor.

I feel like this is the place I am supposed to be at right now in my life.  I truly love my job.  I love the service that I get to do for kids each and every day.

But.

It's tough.

I can't lie and say that I don't have my moments.  Nothing gets me more fired up than the injustices in my students lives and our schools.  Some days I have a session with a student or parent that leaves me really sad because I have poured my heart and soul into helping but my efforts can only go so far.  That is why I am such an advocate for self care.

Some days at school though there are moments of light. Every year our science lab hatches chicks while the students learn about life cycles.  We only get to have the chicks at the school for a short time.  The moments that I get to pop in and see the kids interacting with the baby chicks are so life giving.  It is always good to be reminded that my students are simply kids, full of wonder and joy with the world around them.  Children are the innocents and they should always be given chances for play and exploration. 

I got to play with the chicks one afternoon outside as well and they are just so adorable.  It truly helped cheer me up for the week to have a fun cuteness break.

What is something that reminds you about the good things in life, whether it be at work or home?

It's the Bikini Series Time of Year!

Y'all may or may not know my love for Tone It Up.  I love the positivity and encouragement of the trainers.  I love the community they have created.  I love that their health and fitness philosophy aligns with mine.  Living your best life by loving yourself and fueling your body with good for you whole foods. Their energy is contagious and by following their plan I have seriously never felt better in my life. 

Monday the bikini series launches! This is an 8 week challenge to help you eat lean, clean, and green and make healthy decisions for summer and beyond. I am so excited to see all the new recipes they release along with the plan and to try all of the fun new workouts and lifestyle challenges.

The bikini series is coming at the perfect time for me.  I need the energy of trying and accomplishing something new to push me through the end of the school year.  Since writing is something I enjoy I am going to periodically blog about how the bikini series is going to hold myself accountable.

Bikini Series here I come!!

Have you ever tried a fitness plan and loved it? 

The Happiness List

Location: Whitewater Center, Charlotte, NC

As you know, I have recently been trying to find ways to live my life to the fullest and part of that means being a tourist in my own city to explore all that it has to offer.  Recently, I heard a fitness blogger I follow talking about what she does to make her daily life and routines feel like it does while you are on vacation.

When we are on vacation our days move in a relaxed, care-free manner. The choices we make on vacation are all about having fun, trying new things and foods, as well as making decisions that bring us joy. So why can't we live our daily life that way?

In order to live daily life like you are on vacation that means changing our mindset about every day.  Her idea was to create a happiness list of things that make you really happy and try to do a few of those every day so that you bring joy and relaxation into your routines. I thought it was such an incredible idea. 

When we do things that we love we are staying true to our authentic selves.

Sometimes it is hard seeing other people living this seemingly happy life with all of their fancy things and opportunities.  But other peoples lives are not our own.  Instead of striving for happiness in what other people have or do, be your own person.  Make your own happiness list and do something every day to honor your own happiness and live every day like you are on vacation.

Here is my happiness list:

1. Journaling and reading the bible over a slow cup of coffee
2. Taking care of my plants [one day I hope this will be full blown gardening] 
3. Reading a good book
4. A long walk with the pup or a friend outside
5. Working out
6. Cooking a delicious meal 
7. Candles
8. DIY spa evenings [nails, face masks, the works] 
9. Good conversations with people I love 
10. Finding a really good deal on fashion [although this one will add up if it happens daily so this one has a limit] 
11. Exploring a fun place and trying something new
12. Hiking or any adventure outdoors 

What are some things that make you happy?

Creating Intentional Routines for Self Care

Journaling Bible

As humans we like routine, we crave rituals.  They make us feel safe because we know what is coming next.  Routines have a calming effect.  That is why it is so important to set up intentional routines.  A lot of people struggle to have a work / life balance or get anxiety and have a tough time navigating the world.  Life is hard y'all.  It is okay to set up boundaries, put yourself first, and practice good self care.

I love self care. We actually had an about you questionnaire at work for secret Santa gifts and I literally put self care as my hobby.  But hear me out.  Self care should always be 3 fold.  Something for your body, your mind, and your heart.  It can be 3 separate things or one thing that fuels all 3 aspects of your being.

For me, my self care is having routines that include self care practices.  Working out and eating healthy my body.  Reading fuels my mind.  Spending time journaling and reading the Word fill my heart.

I start my day, every single day, with a cup of coffee and reading the bible.  I intentionally wake up a little bit earlier so I can have purposeful time to get this accomplished.  It has become habitual so much so that if I miss a morning my day feels thrown. When I get home the first thing I do before anything else is get my workout in and walk my pup.  It's like I am physically moving and de-stressing from the day.

It was so important to me to create a life around my self care practices so that I feel healthy and happy in all that I do.  It takes time to put simple changes into long term lifestyle routines, but we make time for what we care for.

What is important to you? What fills your cup?  How can you switch some things up to be very intentional to create self care routines for yourself? 

Making Fitness a Priority

Location: South End, Charlotte, NC

Outfit: Yoga Capri | Tank Top | Shoes

This summer has definitely been the summer of self- care for me.  Being off of my real full time job has given me the time I need to focus on the things that make me happy.  Despite how busy I have been I have made it a priority to put health and fitness at the top of my list.  It has been glorious.  Working out daily is like hitting the reset button.  Whether I am overwhelmed and tired or just not feeling it a workout can completely flip my mood, give me a burst of energy, and make all my worries go away.

Today is my first workday of the new school year so I am having to make some shifts in my schedule. I won't be able just to walk down to the gym during the middle of the day anymore.  While, I know people have full time jobs all year long, working in the school kind of gives you two completely different lifestyles that you become accustomed to really quick.  Adjusting back to the all day work grind is just that, an adjustment.

My promise to myself is to continue to fuel my body with whole, healthy foods, and to workout every day. Whether it be walking the dog in the morning, going to a fun class with friends, a nice run on the trail by my apartment, or doing one of my TIU videos in the gym.  Every single day my body needs to move, stretch, and push itself.  Self - care becomes more of a necessity during the school year due to the nature of my job.  Health and fitness is one way I can treat my body with love and kindness.

This year I have really learned how my body craves a good workout.  I have also learned to let go of the expectations that a workout has to be a full blown intense sweat session every day.  The latter has made all the difference.  Listening to my body and doing something daily has helped me reach so many goals.  Even through a tough school year, I promise to treat my body right and keep fitness my priority, I know that with this everything else will fall into place.

What are some ways you make fitness a priority?

On Striving for Perfection

Today we are getting a little more raw and a lot more real here on Sweet Surrender.  I have been wrestling with the concept of perfection for a little while and wanted to share my journey and thoughts through this process. Comparison is a topic that is brought up in the blog world quite frequently and I wrote a post about that here. Perfection or wanting perfection is sometimes stemmed from comparison but in my case today it is coming from a variety of places.

I am a to- do list maker, people pleaser, rule follower, and strive for recognition that I am doing the right thing. Lately, striving to get it all done, to have my apartment be beautiful and pinterest worthy only a week after we moved in, to have the right clothes, hair, & make up, and to make all those around me happy, has had the opposite effect.  Reaching for perfection has made me miserable. It's exhausting.  It's also not worth it at all. In trying to do all the things I was actually losing myself, who I was, and what truly makes me happy.

Perfection isn't an attainable thing at all.  We all fall short.  We all make mistakes.  We all live very different lives and that's okay.  I am learning to accept myself.  I am learning to thrive in the imperfections.  Most of all God's grace is free flowing. If he can forgive me through it all, why can't I learn to forgive myself and give myself permission to slow down?

My apartment will take time to get organized and saving for a couch won't happen overnight.  Sometimes others aren't going to be thrilled at the decisions I make for myself and that's okay.  My wardrobe will take time to build. I have so much to be grateful for right now.  Wanting perfection will only bring misery.  Practicing gratitude brings joy.

Instead of striving for perfection I have created a new goal: strive for health and happiness.  When I am making healthy choices and decision that bring me joy I am my best self. We only get one life to live and I don't want to waste mine guilt tripping myself and creating unnecessary anxiety because perfection simply couldn't be reached.  I want to spend the time I have living my best life.

Have you had to shift your mindset when it comes to perfection? How has that changed your life for the better? 

Summertime Self Care

Sweet summertime is here.  Can you tell that I am excited? This summer my priority is going to be self care for sure.

This school year has been a learning experience for me for sure.  Ultimately I had a few students who monopolized my time leaving me playing catch up due to many re-adjustments in my schedule.   I had a few months where I was simply drained.  Having a routine during the school year for after work saved me.  I made taking care of myself a priority because of the nature of my job I knew I wouldn't be able to perform well if I didn't.

Now I have a whole summer ahead of me but I am still going to take into account self care.

Self care is something that fuels you; mind, body, and spirit.  What are the things that leave you feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world? What drives your passions?

For me self care means a lot of different things.  At the most basic it means always eating healthy foods and working out because if I don't feel well then nothing else can get done.  I feel my best when I am consistent with Tone It Up.  Then there are my simple routines that I have daily, if I don't do these things I feel off.  I would consider this self care too.  Examples are my devotional and journaling with my morning coffee as well as walking my pup.

Then there are the extra self care things.  These practices don't have to be a daily routine but I know that if I take time out of my day to do them then I feel so much better, happier, and more like myself.  These self care practices for me are doing something creative like blogging, photography, or reading.  Spending time with people also makes it to my self care list.  I feel alive when I have events planned and people to see.  I also love doing little things over the summer to just relax like laying out at the pool or a DIY home spa day.  My soul is fueled by nature as well so I always try to spend as much time outside in the summer as I can.

This summer will definitely be spent doing all the self care things!

What are some of your favorite self care practices and routines for the summer?

School's Out for Summer!

It is finally summertime for me, well aside from workdays and lots of random training days through the summer.  School will officially not have students in the building until August.  I have been trying to reflect and process on the end of the school year for this post, yet, I can't seem to find the words.

This school year has been a year of many firsts for me.  This school year was my first full year as a school counselor [I was hired mid year last year and was doing my internship for grad school simultaneously] I had so many trials and learning experiences throughout the year.

This job is rewarding and exhausting all at the same time.  When I was a teacher I was just plain tired.  I could talk all day about my opinions on teaching, how it's the hardest job and teachers don't get what they deserve in so many aspects but that could be a whole series of other blog posts.  Being a counselor means you have to be even more adaptable and emotionally available to whatever might come your way.  A lot of people still have no idea what my job entails.  A few pet peeves of mine: calling me a guidance counselor and questioning why elementary age kids might even need mental health support.  Oh if you only knew...

I can honestly say that I am right where I am supposed to be. I have so many goals and ideas swimming in my head of how to improve upon the school counseling program for next year.  As I sit back and reflect on this past year I have learned a few things.

1.  Self care NEEDS to be a priority.
2.  Kids matter.
3.  Being fully present and listening to someone can be life changing.
4.  The kids who need love the most show it in the most inappropriate ways.  
5.  Building relationships takes time but keep trying and reaching out. Relationship is the foundation for success and change. 
6.  School culture is unlike anything else.  
7.  Be an advocate for doing what is right for kids. 
8.  No two days look the same - even if your calendar might plan for it to seem that way. 
9.  Kiddos can't help where they come from, it's not their fault, and it's not our responsibility to blame.  We need to teach it all - social skills, behavior, manners, AND math, reading, science, etc. with patience and love. 
10.  Being kind will take you more places than you know. 

To all you teachers and school employees out there; I hope you have a happy and healthy summer! What have you learned this school year? 

Bikini Series 2017 | Halfway Point

source

I have mentioned Tone It Up before, probably way to many times, but my love for the trainers and this program are worth mentioning! I love how flexible tone it up makes working out and eating.  Just follow the rules - but make it your own.  It's a lifestyle after all.  They are constantly coming up with new recipes, workouts, and general life tips that are always positive and encouraging.

We are now in week 4 of the summer bikini series.  Although, I am pretty terrible at check ins.  Which is where you post your meals and workout photos on instagram to keep up with everyone else doing the challenge, and to receive and give encouragement.  My office has NO service so I just don't / can't use my phone then pretty much forget after I am home.

Even though I don't post check ins regularly it doesn't mean I am not following along with the meals and workouts.  I have been loving this bikini series.  I am learning so much throughout this process, especially since this is the first bikini series I have been following.

I haven't noticed too many physical changes or weight changes but I don't necessarily have a lot of weight I need to really lose. The changes I am seeing are more mental.  I am getting better at refusing foods that don't serve me healthy purposes or make me feel like crap.  I have also noticed that I am doing more every single day.  I always have been one to work out - but I also had days or weeks where I just didn't.  Now I am more consistent in doing something every single day whether it be a short video, walk with the pup, or inviting friends to go to bootcamp or yoga. In turn, doing something pretty much every day has incredibly helped my mood. I also find that when I workout I pick healthier options to eat because I want to fuel my body and treat myself better.  It becomes a healthy cycle.  It's so much better than the old spiraling into unhealthy choices that I fell victim to often.

I can't wait to see what the next 4 weeks of the challenge have in store for me.  Just in time for summer!!

What is your favorite way to improve your overall wellness?

3 Things I Want To Remember

Sometimes life gets so crazy.  That is just the norm for everyone.  The other day I was talking with my principal about the year and she took me by surprise by asking me about the highlights of my year and what I was most proud of.  I always seem to have a response about meetings and interventions and crisis response situations and how to best serve the kiddos but reflecting on accomplishments stumped me for some reason.

That got me thinking.  I am such a go go go person.  I thrive on the unpredictability of my job but also having a lot of things planned after work too.   I am always just doing then planning for the next adventure.  I am constantly trying to improve - be better, do more, have more fun events lined up.  But remembering, cherishing, and celebrating - that's not something I do often.

So today I wanted to share some bits of advice to myself and things I want to remember for myself at this moment right now.  Some things are just important.

Just start.  Whatever it is that needs to be done.  Those dreaded parent phone calls at work.  A workout you just aren't feeling like doing that day.  You are the type of person who gets s*** done and goes for it all the way.  If you start your focus and adrenaline will take over.  You can do the workout and you ALWAYS feel better and stronger after.  When you do the paperwork you end up getting inspired by a new organization system.  So just simply start - stick to it for 10 minutes and then see what happens.

Love on your people. Since you spend your days checking off items to do, sometimes you get so stuck in that list that you don't look up or intentionally connect.  Call a friend. Plan a coffee date.  Be with your people.  The To - Do list can absolutely wait.  Plus, it will always get done.

Dress your best.  You ALWAYS feel better and do better when you take the time to put on a cute outfit, your hair is done, and your make up is actually on.  When you look good you feel good and visa versa so take that time to take care of yourself and how you look every single day!

What is it that you want to remember today? 

How I Meal Plan and Organize My Week

Today is the first day of the bikini series with Tone It Up!  Go beach babes, you got this!! I will be joining you soon :) This week I actually didn't plan or prep anything because I am camping in West Virginia with thirty 4th graders and all of our meals are being provided at the campsite.  I am just going to enjoy the experience and still try to be as healthy as possible with what I have.  

I wanted to share a little of how I typically prep for success for my upcoming week.  It's kind of funny because I used to not be a planner at all.  Then I went to grad school and it all changed.  I had to be super organized - working 2 jobs, taking graduate classes, keeping up with homework, internships, and social obligations - not to mention planning meals for all this running around and trying to fit in workouts. 

Since I am on a budget I started meal planning as well as planning out all my events all together.  I wanted to know what I was doing for the upcoming week so I could plan meals around it or have healthy options to bring with me.  Eating out was never really an option because of the added cost that brings.  

Now I am not in grad school but still living a pretty hectic life I have found peace of mind in being a little prepared for what is coming.  So every week I get out my computer, colored pens, my Passion Planner, and a notepad for lists and get to work.  I check a few things.  1. My school calendar 2. My personal calendar 3. Offline [a fun app that posts events in Charlotte] 4. Tone It Up's weekly schedule for workout 5. My tone it up Nutrition plan.  

First, I put everything into my planner according to the time I want to accomplish things.  I even make sure to write down journal time in there because there is power in writing your goals down and I need that time set aside for prayer and self care! Then I add in workouts from tone it up or classes like bootcamp or yoga that I typically go to with friends during the week.  Lastly I plan out my meals.  I plan out what I am going to eat for every single meal each day of the week.  I try to make it as simple as possible and tone it up has taught me how to reuse ingredients for multiple recipes so nothing goes to waste!  This also helps you be creative with your meals multiple times throughout the week instead of just getting things to make one meal like I used to do [My old roomie / current bestie would be so proud] After the meals are planned I make my grocery list and head out to Trader Joes.  Sometimes I will even prep for the week especially if there is something like muffins I want to eat multiple days but not always.  I pack my lunch for work every night so while I am at it I prep for all my meals for the day ahead. 

I find that I am calmer and more likely to reach my goals when I set aside this time every weekend.  Meal planning and organizing my life with my calendar I feel has made me a bit more successful from week to week.  Of course things always come up but I am not ever far from my planner to check and make adjustments.  Or if I happen to go out to eat I consciously make a healthy choice and then just shifts some meals around. There are so many ways to prepare for the week ahead but I find the most important thing is to think about what you truly want to accomplish.  At the end of the day or the week what will you be proud of yourself for when you look back and plan to do those things!

How do you set yourself up for a successful week?

When I Miss the Mountains

I am a mountain girl.  I love the beach don't get me wrong.  But there is something about the mountains that brings me an overwhelming feeling of peace.  Maybe it's the fresh air, the outdoor adventure, and the vibrant expression of the seasons through nature.  The mountains were home for 6 years of my life and I loved being able to go hiking at any opportunity.  

Now, I live in the Queen City, which I love, but I don't get to walk out my door and explore a new hiking trail through the mountains.  Sometimes I just miss that.  

The Whitewater Center near Charlotte is full of hiking / mountain biking trails.  I decided to take the plunge and get a parking pass for the year because I was homesick for Boone and outdoor adventure.  I love going over to the USNWC because it just feels like my kind of people.  Everyone is wearing their Chacos, people are hanging their hammocks up from every tree simply spending time outside, there are kayakers constantly in the water, and the trails are definitely something I have been taking advantage of.  

Last week, I was on Spring Break.  I had huge plans of just sitting by my pool and tanning, but then the doors proceeded to be locked and the office told me it won't open until memorial day [what! it's so hot here before then and I am going to need a pool and a tan pronto but I digress] So instead Mike and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and go hiking.  

It was a gorgeous spring day.  We decided to do the lake loop this time, it's a 3 mile hike that's pretty easy but takes you around all of the various "lakes" I think it was the best of both worlds being by some sort of body of water and hiking outside. 

I got my mountain fix in and came home feeling more centered and like myself.  Sometimes I really just need to reconnect with my mountain loving self and go for a hike.  

What is your favorite outdoor adventure? 

It's Been Two Years

I love reflecting on life.  My favorite past time is taking pictures so I can look back through them and cherish the memories of those moments captured in time.  I have tons of scrapbooks taking up space in my hall closet full of smiles, adventures, and bad hair days haha.

We don't really take photos and craft a cute scrapbook about the tough stuff in life.  Those are the days where the camera is collecting dust on the shelf.  Tears are typically shed.  Prayers are uttered in quiet rooms for some relief.

It's been two years exactly [as of yesterday] that I had a pretty scary situation.  I haven't really shared my story or my thoughts on it besides conversations with close friends, but I felt like it was time to reflect on how that moment changed the course of my life.

On April fools day, two years ago, I woke up with the most intense pain ever.  I ran through all sorts of scary thoughts in my head wondering what the heck was wrong with me.  I called my mom in tears on the bathroom floor hoping for the pain to pass and it never did.  Then I started texting and calling all of my grad school friends - I needed a ride to the ER. asap. Something just wasn't right in my body. After a day in the ER, feeling terrified undergoing tests and ultrasounds but no one really saying anything to me.  I could just read on the doctors and technicians faces that whatever was going on was unusual.  I was so scared because I truly had no idea and neither did they.  I ended up getting discharged with an appointment to see an ob/ gyn the next day.

My doctor was very kind and walked me through everything.  She said I had a dermoid cyst on my uterus that was very large and she wanted to operate as soon as possible.  We scheduled the surgery - me wide eyed - wondering how something so big could just be hanging out inside me with out me knowing.  My parents made arrangements to come stay with me the next week and we got a friend to take care of my dog while I was recovering and then I just waited for the big day.

The day of surgery is a blur.  Anesthesia and pain meds will do that to you.  Apparently, I sent my sister some very flattering snap chat selfies that she took screenshots of.  I guarantee those will make an appearance at a very opportune moment for humiliation purposes.

I do remember my doctor coming in and checking on me. She explained that when they made the cut the doctors realized that I didn't have a dermoid cyst, I had a fibroid tumor that was way larger than originally anticipated.  They had to extend my incision to ensure they could take the whole thing out.  This was only supposed to be an out patient surgery but because of the unexpected fibroid inside of me I had to stay overnight.

The fibroid was benign, praise God, but it still made a huge impact on my life.  I am left with a reminder of the fear, anxiety, and unknown every single day since I have a 5 inch almost c-section like scar on my stomach.  My recovery was hard.  The week before I was in the ER I had just run a race with a bunch of friends.  Now, I was being told not to work out and take it easy.  I could barely walk to classes.  I had to take a month off of work as a server.

Moments like these aren't in the scrapbooks.  They are burned into our brain remembering every feeling, every thought, every moment.  I resolved to always be brave.  To take risks.  To live my life to the fullest. To do things that make my heart happy way more often.  I made a commitment to be even healthier and take care of my body.  The human body is an incredible thing and we only get one of them.  I am proud to say that I was able to recover and run my first half marathon by the end of that summer.  What an incredible emotional experience that was, knowing that months earlier I was in the hospital, but my body was able to run 13.1 miles in the mountains.

Sometimes I am struck by the fear of asking myself - what if it happens again?  Then I remember how blessed I have been in the past 2 years.  All of the things I have accomplished.  The relationships with people I love that have only gotten deeper and stronger as a result.  I am so thankful that God teaches me little lessons every day about how amazing this life truly is.  My tough moment isn't in a scrapbook, it doesn't have to be, I carry the scar with me, but I learn from it every single day.

What has been a pivotal moment in your history? 

How to Bounce Back into a Healthy Routine After Slipping

We all have those days, mine typically fall around my time of the month. The days where we are exhausted and don't feel like cooking or working out.  The days where no matter how great you meal planned whatever that healthy item is just doesn't seem appetizing anymore.  So we cave - we give into our unhealthy cravings and indulge. Or we take a nap instead of that fitness activity that was planned.

Whatever the slip might be.  It's normal.  It's okay to have days that aren't 100% clean eating and attending a crazy bootcamp where you burn 500 calories.

I used to let these slips get to me.  I would really beat myself up about it.  You can read more about what I gave up for lent and why: here and here.  I would turn negative self talk into an internalized terrible idea about myself and my worth.  The vicious cycle of "it's not worth its" "I am a mess up" "I just can't because of x,y,z" would turn one bad meal or skipped workout into a bad few days.  Those bad few days turns into a whole week of unhealthy choices for myself.  Then all of a sudden I find myself in a huge rut, fueled by unhealthy habits that crank up my anxiety and negative self-talk, to the extreme.

Slowly, I have had to evaluate that cycle that seems to happen within me.  It's so not worth it.  I have had to literally change my language.  Being a part of the Tone It Up community has helped me so much with that.  K & K teach that they don't use language like "cheat meals" because then it means you are doing something wrong and should feel guilty [which you 100% should not!] Sometimes your body just needs a break or a huge bowl of mac and cheese - you do you boo. Treats are not something to be guilty about or to kickstart an incredibly unhealthy cycle, they are treats.

After that "treat" you talk to yourself and your dialogue should look more like: okay that happened, it's okay, it was worth it, I am rested, I totally and mindfully enjoyed every bit of that mac and cheese and now what's next.  And here is the trick, you do something about it.  Your next meal is a green juice.  You go for a walk after your nap.  You treat your body with love and respect because you only get one.  You make healthy choices because you love your body and you want it to be able to perform well every day.  You eat healthy because your body deserves good healthy fuel.

You don't let a slip turn into a bad week or month or year because you are so much better than that. Change your mind set.  Change your language.  Take care of yourself first!

How do you bounce back after slip ups?

What I Learned Doing the Look for Love | Tone It Up Challenge

all tone it up photos taken from toneitup.com

Yall, I did it.  I completed my first Tone It Up Challenge. I cannot even begin to articulate what these past 6 weeks have meant to me.  FYI this is definitely not a sponsored post I just love this plan, these trainers, and the transformation I have had within.

But in order to truly understand my why for joining Tone It Up we have to go back in time. Like to high school... I have always been an athlete.  Swim practice 6 days a week was my norm.  With all of that practice, I never really thought about what I was eating.  We weren't really educated on nutrition either.  Carbing up is a common phrase in the swim world.  And not healthy carbs I'm talking full on mac and cheese binges before meets was a regular occurrence.  I also didn't have the best relationship with food either.  I would come home from school and as my pre-workout / after school snack I would eat everything and anything in the cabinet [sorry Mom!] I had no real sense of portion sizing.

Then I left for college, I still swam for my school, so going to practice daily was my working out, plus swim meets on weekends.  Again, I felt like I was good because I swam so much and that burns a ton of calories.  Being in college comes with it's own challenges. No parent to yell at me when the whole bag of chex mix is gone or to tell me I can't go to a fast food place with my friends because it's past curfew.  Add in drinking and I was wrecking my insides slowly without actually realizing it.  Because, you see, this whole time I was blissfully thinking I was okay because I swim. I used swimming as an excuse to truly eat whatever I felt like.

So then I graduated college and got my first teaching job.  I moved back home with my parents and in order to find something to replace swimming I joined a gym and got hooked on zumba and yoga classes.  I was on a super strict budget now #teacherprobs so I had to figure out how to really meal plan.  I started losing weight I think based on the fact that I wasn't going out to eat all the time to save money.  I also pack my lunch for school every day because a lunch break is not a thing in schools #anotherteacherprob so by default I was eating slightly healthier. Yet, I still didn't really eat properly but it was in this time period that I realized I wanted to feel healthier and needed to make some changes in my life.

A few years later I moved back to the mountains for grad school.  Grad school, specifically a counseling program is 2 years of intensive self care and therapy, it was here that I found a passion for nutrition.  I got really into reading articles about food and what it does to your body.  The connection between food and mood was absolutely fascinating to me.  I also stumbled upon Tone It Up and starting following their workout schedule they post every week.  The more and more I researched I kept coming back to Tone It Up and knew they advertised a nutrition plan.  I have been a silent observer in the community presence online as well.  I was blown away by peoples testimonies.  They did a huge black Friday sale one year so I made the purchase and became a full blown member.

I read through the nutrition plan and loved their guidelines.  The science behind their recipes and nutrition plan really peaked my interest.  The more I educated myself the more I realized they are right.  Health is truly about what you put into your body.  You should fuel your body with fuel that takes care of it and is going to create the best version of yourself because you love your body. 

Still, I wasn't fully committed.  I tried a few challenges and always seemed to fade.  I observed the community still but didn't participate [social media is sometimes a difficult thing for me] Then I did Whole30.  I stuck with it for the whole 30 days. I fueled my body with clean food that is good for me.  I never felt better.  I actually liked what I saw in the mirror.  I was making the best choices for myself. Whole 30 completely changed my relationship with food.  I listened to my body and what it needed.  I stopped eating when I was full.  It was so encouraging to be proud of myself for actually accomplishing something too.  But, whole30 for me, wasn't sustainable.  I wanted to add back in foods to my diet that I knew from my research was still good for me but not allowed on whole30.

So life after whole30 left me searching for what to do with myself nutrition wise.  I read back through the whole tone it up nutrition plan again and this time it clicked.  I was committed.  I started truly eating based on their guidelines and rules. It's all about eating the right foods at the right times but also giving yourself permission to have some treats.  I began just simply asking myself the question is this tone it up approved or not? See, I was good at whole 30 because I am a rule follower.  So this little question helps me and my relationship with food tremendously.

This past January Tone It Up released their look for love new years challenge.  I wanted to follow along and stick it out; the whole six weeks.  I did. I didn't follow their plan to the t but I learned that sometimes that's okay as long as you still eat approved foods.  I learned that working out doesn't always have to be a crazy 2 hour long swim practice, sometimes you just need to listen to your body and maybe all it needs is a simple walk with the dog [that counts!] I learned that progress isn't always the number on the scale, it's how you feel, it's in the small choices that you make every day to push you toward your goals.  I learned that you can find love within.  Love yourself first because that's what matters.

I still have some personal goals that I set for myself.  My health journey is far from over.  But I feel like I accomplished what I set out to do.  Now I have started over for round 2 of the look for love plan, because the meals are just that good yall.  I truly feel better about myself following their plan.  And yes I still have my indulgences but the plan really taught me to make better decisions and to get back on track quicker instead of wallowing in self hate which turns into more than one bad choice.

So thank you Tone It Up.  I am still learning, but you have taught me oh so much and I can't wait to see what comes next for me. I'm thinking another race? Maybe yoga certified? Who knows the sky is truly the limit. Karena and Katrina I am so grateful that you are my trainers.

Have you ever tried a health journey or plan that completely changed your relationship with food and self? 

The Importance of Self Care

source unknown 

I never used to be one to write things down.  My mom would say that I was messy growing up.  But I like to think I have always been organized.  Being raised by a super organized mom I am turning into her more and more each day.  My whole life now is a constant to do list and you can rarely find me without my planner.  I feel like if I don't write it down, it won't happen at all. [Please tell me I am not alone in this!] 

With the year winding down I always become really reflective.  I look back on my previous year and think about things I want to accomplish for the next.  I will share my new years goals soon, as well, but today I just wanted share the most important lesson I have learned/ am still learning every single day: self care.

I know self care is a term that is being heard more frequently now but I have a confession.  A few years ago when I started my counseling graduate program they really really preached self care [and for good reason] but to me those two words put together in that way baffled me.  No one ever before told me to practice self care - let alone took the time to define it.  I heard the gist of it; eat healthy, take breaks, do things that make you happy, etc. But never the words self care.

Because my grad program was so wonderful - I truly learned the meaning in those 2 valuable life changing years. My professors not only preached it but showed they genuinely cared, when we had an issue they would first ask what are we doing to take care of ourselves before trying to delve into the other problem. Learning about those two simple words not only changed who I am, they pushed me, they challenged me, and they taught me to be who I am now. 

Flash forward a few years now I am a practicing school counselor and the words self care, self care, self care come out of my mouth many times a day to myself and others around me. 

So for the remainder of this year self care is something that I am truly trying practice.  I can't take care of others or do my job effectively without it.  Self care can be simple routine things, doesn't have to be big extravagant and throw your whole day around.  I have a lot of various self care practices that fulfill me.  These are the few that I hold pretty sacred and my days are thrown off if I miss them.

I start my morning reading the readings for the day and journaling about it before I leave for work.  I plan my meals out so that I eat the food that fuels my body in a healthy way and over time I have learned what my body likes and doesn't like.  I pay attention to my body and what it needs. The first thing I do when I get home from work is change into work out clothes and do a workout as well as go on a long walk with my dog.

I am always searching for more self care practices to implement.  What are some of the things you do to practice self care?