Be Kind to Yourself

The new year brings about a feeling of a fresh start for all.  Many are embracing resolutions and the "new year, new me" mindset.  Along with that comes a certain amount of guilt, whether it is thinking of bad habits we have built from the previous year or the negativity that comes whenever you might slip up from your new year goals.

I am so guilty of starting new goals, taking on so much more that I can handle in an effort to change, and then 3 weeks later giving up which leads to falling back into the old routines I was so desperate to change.  My narrative becomes "Why can't I ever complete anything? Why can't I see this through to the end?" Truly believing that I won't be able to finish so what's the point, right?

Then after a week or so of making unhealthy choices I am beating myself up, getting a new idea in my head of how to change, and the cycle starts all over again.  Then I put my worth in what I accomplish instead of who I truly am.

This is not okay.

So many of us do this.  We give ourselves value based on what we are able to get done, how much of the to do list was checked off that day, or even what other people might say or think of us.

That is not who I am.  That is not who you are.  I am a daughter of the king who created me to be  exactly what He wanted.  I am also worth so much more than giving up on myself and breaking promises that I make to myself.

Rachel Hollis discusses this idea in her book: Girl, Wash Your Face.  Do yourself a favor and read it.  But what really hit me in the face and spoke truth to my soul was this concept of breaking promises to myself.  I do this to myself all. the. time.

I am so much better than that.  I am worth keeping a commitment to myself, more than anyone else.  In sticking to my promises to myself I am proving my worth to myself, I am telling myself I am good enough and I am going to see this through. I am being kind to myself first and foremost because I matter.

So in this season of goals and resolutions, do yourself a favor, show up.  Follow through.  Keep your commitments.  Be kind to yourself.  You are proving to yourself and everyone else that you are worth it.

Summer in the Sunshine

Location: Lake Wylie & South End CLT

This summer has been everything. My goal this summer was to simply enjoy.  I have done just that and it's not even over - I still have a month left until the school year starts up again.  I have taken full advantage of the sunshine and being outside, it is giving me so much life. 

I have been teaching swim lessons and babysitting for some extra cash. My schedule has been so great for me.  I gave myself time to work a little, get things done around the apartment that has been put off for a while, plus living my life in the sun.

I have been biking, walking, boating, swimming, and reading - so much reading.

Summer is so good for my soul.  I truly love the time to take care of myself.  I have been enjoying slow mornings with coffee.  Working out and reaching new goals. Vitamin D every single day.  Long walks with the pup in the evenings. Reading new books after frequent visits to the library. Trying new things.  Catching up with friends.

I love that I have been taking advantage of enjoying the summer.  I felt today like I was ready to actually think about work and setting some new goals for the school year.  But before I jump back to school mode I have fun exciting travel adventures to close out my summer - including one place I have never been before. Stay tuned. 

Cheers to enjoying life, sunshine, and summertime. 

Making Fitness a Priority

Location: South End, Charlotte, NC

Outfit: Yoga Capri | Tank Top | Shoes

This summer has definitely been the summer of self- care for me.  Being off of my real full time job has given me the time I need to focus on the things that make me happy.  Despite how busy I have been I have made it a priority to put health and fitness at the top of my list.  It has been glorious.  Working out daily is like hitting the reset button.  Whether I am overwhelmed and tired or just not feeling it a workout can completely flip my mood, give me a burst of energy, and make all my worries go away.

Today is my first workday of the new school year so I am having to make some shifts in my schedule. I won't be able just to walk down to the gym during the middle of the day anymore.  While, I know people have full time jobs all year long, working in the school kind of gives you two completely different lifestyles that you become accustomed to really quick.  Adjusting back to the all day work grind is just that, an adjustment.

My promise to myself is to continue to fuel my body with whole, healthy foods, and to workout every day. Whether it be walking the dog in the morning, going to a fun class with friends, a nice run on the trail by my apartment, or doing one of my TIU videos in the gym.  Every single day my body needs to move, stretch, and push itself.  Self - care becomes more of a necessity during the school year due to the nature of my job.  Health and fitness is one way I can treat my body with love and kindness.

This year I have really learned how my body craves a good workout.  I have also learned to let go of the expectations that a workout has to be a full blown intense sweat session every day.  The latter has made all the difference.  Listening to my body and doing something daily has helped me reach so many goals.  Even through a tough school year, I promise to treat my body right and keep fitness my priority, I know that with this everything else will fall into place.

What are some ways you make fitness a priority?

Summer Goals Check In

Location: Outer Banks, North Carolina

One week from now I head back to work to start setting up my office as well as prepping for the school year to begin. This summer has been absolutely wonderful for me.  I wrote a post before summer began about all the things that I wanted to do this season.  A bucket list of sorts; you can read it all here.

Every once and a while I make a list of goals that I want to accomplish.  Typically around new years when everyone reflects on what the year brought and the changes they can make for a better year ahead.  I suppose this summer was my new year.  Now that it is coming to an end I have looked back at my list, while I am pleased at all that I have done I had an aha moment.

While I was looking at all that I wanted to see and experience this summer I realized some things I wanted to do at the beginning of summer were simply forgotten about. I also realized that life happens.  Sometimes we make the best plans, set goals, and then they don't happen.  Instead of focusing on what hasn't happened life is about practicing gratitude for what actually happens.

So instead of looking back at my list, going through it and checking off what I did and didn't do.  My check in with myself is answering one simple question.  Am I relaxed and rejuvenated in spending my summer full of fun events and taking care of myself? My answer is most definitely; yes.

This last week will be spent loving life and summertime for a little while longer.

How has your summer been?  What do your goals teach you about gratitude? 

On Striving for Perfection

Today we are getting a little more raw and a lot more real here on Sweet Surrender.  I have been wrestling with the concept of perfection for a little while and wanted to share my journey and thoughts through this process. Comparison is a topic that is brought up in the blog world quite frequently and I wrote a post about that here. Perfection or wanting perfection is sometimes stemmed from comparison but in my case today it is coming from a variety of places.

I am a to- do list maker, people pleaser, rule follower, and strive for recognition that I am doing the right thing. Lately, striving to get it all done, to have my apartment be beautiful and pinterest worthy only a week after we moved in, to have the right clothes, hair, & make up, and to make all those around me happy, has had the opposite effect.  Reaching for perfection has made me miserable. It's exhausting.  It's also not worth it at all. In trying to do all the things I was actually losing myself, who I was, and what truly makes me happy.

Perfection isn't an attainable thing at all.  We all fall short.  We all make mistakes.  We all live very different lives and that's okay.  I am learning to accept myself.  I am learning to thrive in the imperfections.  Most of all God's grace is free flowing. If he can forgive me through it all, why can't I learn to forgive myself and give myself permission to slow down?

My apartment will take time to get organized and saving for a couch won't happen overnight.  Sometimes others aren't going to be thrilled at the decisions I make for myself and that's okay.  My wardrobe will take time to build. I have so much to be grateful for right now.  Wanting perfection will only bring misery.  Practicing gratitude brings joy.

Instead of striving for perfection I have created a new goal: strive for health and happiness.  When I am making healthy choices and decision that bring me joy I am my best self. We only get one life to live and I don't want to waste mine guilt tripping myself and creating unnecessary anxiety because perfection simply couldn't be reached.  I want to spend the time I have living my best life.

Have you had to shift your mindset when it comes to perfection? How has that changed your life for the better? 

Letter to My College Self

Dear College Amanda and all those heading to college at the end of summer,

It's been five years since you graduated undergrad and a full year now away from graduate school.  I have had some time to reflect on those times.  I have learned many lessons along the way.  While I don't regret anything because I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, there are definitely some things that I learned and wish I would have done differently.

Create a budget & stick to it.  Or better yet save money in an account that you block access from.  Paying off loans is no fun.  Plus once you graduate your car is going to break and you will have to buy a new one so add another monthly payment.  Rent anywhere else besides your college town is crazy expensive. Have fun but be mindful and disciplined with your money. I think this past year was the year that it really clicked for me, but I wish it were 7 years ago!

Go out with your friends.  Taco Tuesday.  Thursday night events.  Saturday afternoon adventures and tailgates.  Practice good time management and spend some daytime in the library to get your work done.  This is the time in your life that you will be closest to people.  Don't skip being around them, say yes to things with people.  The moments with friends will become your most cherished memories.

Learn to meal plan. Fast food is not your friend.  Prep food with some lovely fresh and healthy ingredients, your body will thank you.

Do what makes you happy. This lesson is the one I really wish I would have taken more advantage of.  I had a weird complex that I built up in college that revolved around other people and what they thought.  It's a difficult thing to break. I am still finding myself and what I love but I wish I would have jumped at more opportunities that my college campus offered that peaked my interest. Who knows if you try something that makes you happy and go alone you might meet some really great friends.

Be open. This is kind of a continuation of the previous.  Colleges are constantly having events and opportunities.  Go. Try something new.  Don't judge before you try.  These years are so formative, so be open to learning new things and trying something different.

Don't cling to people who don't bring positivity to your life.  I spent a lot of time on people who didn't serve me well.  I kept trying to make things work in various friendships and relationships and unfortunately suffered a lot from it.  I lost big pieces of myself in other people.  You will always find new people so don't be afraid to walk away from something that is bringing you down.

Go to church.  Better yet get involved with a campus Christian group.  Jesus is number one. Spend time with Him & like minded people.  Those will be the true friendships.

Journal. Writing is the one way that you truly figure out what you are thinking and feeling.  Invest in yourself.  Go to a fun coffee shop, bring your journal, sip a latte and reflect on this once in a life time experience.

Ask questions. This is your time to learn.  Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know something.  Try out various jobs and internships.  Learn learn learn and soak it all up.

Explore where you live.  Your college town is so much more than your campus.  There are actually people that live and work there year round.  They matter too.  Support local.  Learn about the towns history & people.  You will miss that life when you are gone.

Choose your girlfriends over that boy. Seriously.  He isn't worth it.  If you don't think you are good enough to ever find someone; stop that negative self talk right now!  You will find a fantastic guy.  BUT first you need to love yourself and spend time with your girls.  Boys will always come and go but if you choose them over your friends slowly the most cherished girlfriends will fade too.

Make sense of money. Do your research. Set some life and financial goals.  Remind yourself of those financial goals often, especially when debating spending some cash on something silly.  Invest in quality and your future.

Make the most of it. College is seriously unlike anything else. It's difficult and challenging sure but it's also so much fun.  Be brave. Take risks.  Be present and enjoy this special time in your life.

What would you tell your college self?

How I Meal Plan and Organize My Week

Today is the first day of the bikini series with Tone It Up!  Go beach babes, you got this!! I will be joining you soon :) This week I actually didn't plan or prep anything because I am camping in West Virginia with thirty 4th graders and all of our meals are being provided at the campsite.  I am just going to enjoy the experience and still try to be as healthy as possible with what I have.  

I wanted to share a little of how I typically prep for success for my upcoming week.  It's kind of funny because I used to not be a planner at all.  Then I went to grad school and it all changed.  I had to be super organized - working 2 jobs, taking graduate classes, keeping up with homework, internships, and social obligations - not to mention planning meals for all this running around and trying to fit in workouts. 

Since I am on a budget I started meal planning as well as planning out all my events all together.  I wanted to know what I was doing for the upcoming week so I could plan meals around it or have healthy options to bring with me.  Eating out was never really an option because of the added cost that brings.  

Now I am not in grad school but still living a pretty hectic life I have found peace of mind in being a little prepared for what is coming.  So every week I get out my computer, colored pens, my Passion Planner, and a notepad for lists and get to work.  I check a few things.  1. My school calendar 2. My personal calendar 3. Offline [a fun app that posts events in Charlotte] 4. Tone It Up's weekly schedule for workout 5. My tone it up Nutrition plan.  

First, I put everything into my planner according to the time I want to accomplish things.  I even make sure to write down journal time in there because there is power in writing your goals down and I need that time set aside for prayer and self care! Then I add in workouts from tone it up or classes like bootcamp or yoga that I typically go to with friends during the week.  Lastly I plan out my meals.  I plan out what I am going to eat for every single meal each day of the week.  I try to make it as simple as possible and tone it up has taught me how to reuse ingredients for multiple recipes so nothing goes to waste!  This also helps you be creative with your meals multiple times throughout the week instead of just getting things to make one meal like I used to do [My old roomie / current bestie would be so proud] After the meals are planned I make my grocery list and head out to Trader Joes.  Sometimes I will even prep for the week especially if there is something like muffins I want to eat multiple days but not always.  I pack my lunch for work every night so while I am at it I prep for all my meals for the day ahead. 

I find that I am calmer and more likely to reach my goals when I set aside this time every weekend.  Meal planning and organizing my life with my calendar I feel has made me a bit more successful from week to week.  Of course things always come up but I am not ever far from my planner to check and make adjustments.  Or if I happen to go out to eat I consciously make a healthy choice and then just shifts some meals around. There are so many ways to prepare for the week ahead but I find the most important thing is to think about what you truly want to accomplish.  At the end of the day or the week what will you be proud of yourself for when you look back and plan to do those things!

How do you set yourself up for a successful week?

Goals for 2017

I had every intention of writing this whole post on my goals.  I was going to share a list of the things I want to accomplish for this fresh new year and just leave it at that.  A public display of what my intentions are so that the internet can hold me accountable for reaching my goals. Then I read my devotion this morning and spent a good amount of time journaling and listening.

I revisited my list of goals for this year and had to ask myself a harsh question: What are the intentions behind my goals?  Are they to bring me glory or to bring Glory to God? What would be the benefit be for accomplishing my list of things to do for this year? I realized that all my goals had on thing in common; me and only me.

If I truly want to be authentic and really live out the name of my blog I need to spend more time listening to the nudges of my heart that God places upon me. I know, cognitively, that life lived in surrender to God truly means freedom but do my goals for this year reflect that? I realized that I can still keep my goals but they need a little bit of reframing.

So I am not going to share my list of goals today but I will say this my ultimate goal now is to bring Glory to God through my blog, my health habits, my hobbies, and my relationships by listening.  Listening to the words that God places on my heart to share through this platform I have.  Listen to my body and fuel it properly with good whole foods and exercise.  Listen to or rather focus on the hobbies that fuel my passions and creative mind.  And listen to the people around me, what they are truly saying, and take intentional, authentic action from there to be a good friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, and counselor.

What are your goals for 2017?

2016 | A Year In Review

2016 was so full for me.  My life still in a lot of transition throughout this year.  There were some big unknowns about how my life would unfold, but reflecting back on this year, I realized that the unknowns didn't stop me from being brave, trying new things, and having some really great adventures.

Some of my favorite memories from this year are:

1. Starting this blog.  Getting back into photography and sharing my heart has been so fulfilling and I can't wait to see where it takes me for 2017.  My hope is that this will be a place where hearts can be shared and authentic community can be built.

2. Really moving back to Charlotte.  I have always had one foot in this city.  And for the first 6 months of 2016 I was living in two cities at the same time [literally, I had 2 separate rents!] the end of July I finally planted some roots and made the move to be here in the city I love and will always call home.

3. I left Boone.  Not without one last hike to Rough Ridge. Boone has been so good to me.  I lived there for 6 total years of my life.  The second time I lived there was a healing experience for me.  I learned so much about myself spending time in those majestic mountains.  My soul will be forever grateful for the slow pace of life and the many mountains I climbed.

4.  I took Mike on a birthday trip to Asheville in June.  We had a wonderful time wandering the city, finding fun breweries to try, and meeting up with some friends who live there.

5. In November, I ran my second half marathon in Savannah.  You can read all about that trip here.

6. Mike and I celebrated 1 year of dating at the High Country Beer Fest.

7. One of my goals for my last summer in Boone was to do all the things I have always wanted to do but never seemed to get around to it.  So one day we rented Kayaks on Price Lake and soaked up the water, sunshine, and exercise.

8. A little lesson I have learned this year is to be more present in the moment.  I have spent many quiet moments reflecting, journaling, reading my bible and time in prayer.  These are my favorite moments and they make the biggest impact.

9. Renaissance Festival.  There is one every fall in Charlotte and it's so much fun.  A day full of flower crowns, medieval costumes, shows, jousting, good beer, turkey legs, and song.

10. I started working as an elementary school counselor. I worked for my internship at a school in Charlotte and was asked back for this school year.  I am so grateful for my job and the lessons it teaches me every day.  Our theme for this school year is Racing with Excellence so we kicked off the 2016/17 school year at the speedway in Concord!

11.  My Uncle got married! They have been dating for 20 years.  It was so much fun to gather with family in Georgia and celebrate love while dancing the night away!

12. I graduated with my Masters degree in May! Such a huge accomplishment.  So many things fell into place for my dreams to come true with this one.  The whole experience will always be cherished as such a blessing.

13. Technically this was the end of 2015, but I didn't have this blog yet, so I am sharing now.  Last Christmas was spent in Peru with my sister.  We got to go to Machu Picchu. Oh, what a breathtaking, awe inspiring, wonder of the world that was. Being in those Andes mountains was something I will never forget.

14. I took a trip to Raleigh to meet Mikes family and to see where he grew up. It was such a fun little trip to explore another part of the state and get to know him a little bit more.

15. I tried Stand Up Paddleboard Yoga for the first time.  A friend and I went to a class on Watauga Lake - which quickly became my favorite summer spot. The class was so challenging, yet serene and lovely all at the same time.  I highly recommend it and will definitely jump if I get another opportunity.

16. Dad and I tried our hand at gardening in the spring.  We built a raised bed in my parents yard.  The garden was filled with veggies that fed us all summer long.  I never knew there were so many ways to eat eggplants but when your garden is fruitful you get creative quick!

What are some of your favorite 2016 memories?