Being YOUR Best Self

Recently my friend, a fabulous therapist in Boston, posted something on her instagram and asked the question "if it weren't for social media, would you still do it?" Man, that question stopped me in my tracks.  It has had me thinking every since. 

How many things have I wanted to buy or do because the idea came from someone who had it or done it and posted a beautiful picture of it on instagram?  How many experience have I had simply to take a picture of it and post it? How often have I gone out of my way to curate a beautiful picture?  How many moments have I actually missed because I was consumed with social media instead of being present in my life?

There are pros and cons to social media.  I love the fact that I can keep in touch with friends all over the place.  I love being exposed to places, people, and cultures from around the world.  I hate the fact that it removes us from authenticity.  I don't like the comparison and anxiety it brings from striving to keep up.  I despise that our humanity is removed and people feel like they can be cruel to others.

Think about it, how many times have you done something for the sake of or as a result of social media?

A personal goal of mine is to spend less time on my phone and more time experiencing life.  When I reflect on the times that have brought me the most joy; it's those where I did things purely for me.  I have the best time, am my happiest, and my best self when I stay true to myself. 

We are all made unique.  That is what makes us special.  I have different interests and talents than that girl that may look like she has it all on social media.  I don't need my life to be like hers, or anyone else's for that matter.  I was made me for a purpose.  While I may not always know what that purpose is, I definitely will not find it trying to live like someone else.

This year, let's focus on the things that truly matter. Do the things that bring you joy.  Even if no one else seems to be doing it.  Be brave.  Try something new. Live out your life and your purpose. For you.  Not for social media.  Eliminate distractions. Get back to the simple things.  Explore. Celebrate this adventure of life we get to live.

Building Healthy Habits

I am a dreamer.  Filled with ideas constantly flowing through my mind. Also, I spend a good deal of time reflecting on ways to improve.  Sometimes, I have such lofty goals and ideas that I tend to overwhelm myself. I am also a classic over thinker.  I can think myself out of anything making it seem so much bigger than it really is.

I have found that incorporating healthy routines into my daily life have been not only less daunting but inspires me to keep on going.

Instead of making a big deal out of everything.  I think about my goals as daily tasks or routines.  Not only does that bring less anxiety for me it brings more peace. I have also found so much more freedom.  I have time to do more because my healthy goals are now simply habits that I practice daily.  My mind isn't occupied thinking about how to get x, y, & z done.

I have built my daily routines around things that are important to me and my overall health and wellbeing.  I spend time doing the things that are meaningful.  They may be simple and don't take a lot of time but I know they make a big impact on my day and health.

Spend some time thinking about things that you want to start adding into your day.  Start doing it a little bit each day.  Push through the resistance that will come to fall back in old habits.  Then one day you won't even think about them any more they will simply be part of your day.

Thinking about goals as habits are a game changer.

Add something new to your routine and see how it changes your mindset and well being.

How Gratitude is Life Changing

Hello sweet friends,

It has been a while but I am back, in this new year, feeling inspired to write again.  I go through stages with this blog, an identity crisis of sorts, much like life; not really knowing what I want to write or share and what I want this space to be.  But, after some reflection, I keep coming back to this passion of mine which is wellness and living my best life.  I have a heart for helping others do that as well.  In my day job I help kids realize their strengths and how to solve problems.  My dream for this blog is to be a place for people to come to feel inspired by my life and stories to put their best foot forward and live their best life, whatever that looks like.

I have struggles and am by no means perfect but I am learning every single day.

On thing I have learned is practicing gratitude daily.  I have mentioned gratitude a lot on this blog before, type it in the search bar and half a dozen posts at least come up. 

If you look up gratitude in the dictionary the definition is: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. You see the word itself is a noun but the end of the definition [to return kindness] that is a verb, an action of returning kindness to the things and people you are grateful for.  Pretty powerful stuff.  

There are plenty of studies on gratitude which explains how it truly helps change our mindset.  I even teach gratitude to my students as a coping skill for when they are upset or suicidal because it truly does get you out of that dark place. 

I struggle with anxiety.  My anxiety comes from a place of striving for perfection and not feeling good enough. I have to actively avoid social media because I will get myself stuck in comparison.  I know my triggers but it is something I have to work toward daily. 

A few months ago, I started journaling ten things that I am grateful for every single day.  I didn't really think much of it, I am already an avid journal writer.  I didn't realize how much that simple act would change my life.  I don't spend much time on it.  Sometimes one of my ten things I am grateful for that day is my cup of coffee or my dog, to other things like a sweet conversation I had with a friend, or the fact that my bills are always paid, etc. You get the picture. 

In finding ten things a day I am grateful for a few things happened.  I started noticing things.  I paid more attention to the world around me, not only that but the good things around me.  I actually spent less money! I was more appreciative of the things I already have so I didn't feel the need to buy something new to "keep up" My anxiety decreased significantly.  I didn't let the little things get to me so much or get worked up about my to do list or what others were thinking.  I simply felt different, it's hard to explain, but lighter and happier somehow.  My boyfriend mentioned he noticed the change in me as well.

You guys, this gratitude practice works.  Actively writing down and thinking of things you are thankful for not only changes you from the inside but other people notice it as well.

In 2019 challenge yourself to practice gratitude and see how your world changes for the better. 

Fall Adventures

OMB Oktoberfest. Pumpkins. Corn Maze. Family dinners at fun restaurants. Renaissance Festival.  All the fall things. 

Fall is one of my favorite seasons.  I think I love all the seasons for what they bring but there is something about fall.  I start a new school year so it's full of fresh beginnings and inspiration for me.  The crisp colorful weather doesn't hurt either.  There is something about a gorgeous drive under Carolina blue skies and seeing colorful leaves. 

This fall has been full of fun adventures. It has also been a strange one for me.  Charlotte has gotten hit by multiple hurricanes, canceling school a bunch.  I feel like I am still trying to get started in my school year and figure things out with a lot of change and it's almost time for the holidays!

One thing I am learning is life is about how you live it.  I am choosing to not let my work define me and to truly live my life for the moments that bring me joy. Truly celebrating each day, being grateful for the things that we have, and finding ways to enjoy each season.

Making Fitness a Priority

Location: South End, Charlotte, NC

Outfit: Yoga Capri | Tank Top | Shoes

This summer has definitely been the summer of self- care for me.  Being off of my real full time job has given me the time I need to focus on the things that make me happy.  Despite how busy I have been I have made it a priority to put health and fitness at the top of my list.  It has been glorious.  Working out daily is like hitting the reset button.  Whether I am overwhelmed and tired or just not feeling it a workout can completely flip my mood, give me a burst of energy, and make all my worries go away.

Today is my first workday of the new school year so I am having to make some shifts in my schedule. I won't be able just to walk down to the gym during the middle of the day anymore.  While, I know people have full time jobs all year long, working in the school kind of gives you two completely different lifestyles that you become accustomed to really quick.  Adjusting back to the all day work grind is just that, an adjustment.

My promise to myself is to continue to fuel my body with whole, healthy foods, and to workout every day. Whether it be walking the dog in the morning, going to a fun class with friends, a nice run on the trail by my apartment, or doing one of my TIU videos in the gym.  Every single day my body needs to move, stretch, and push itself.  Self - care becomes more of a necessity during the school year due to the nature of my job.  Health and fitness is one way I can treat my body with love and kindness.

This year I have really learned how my body craves a good workout.  I have also learned to let go of the expectations that a workout has to be a full blown intense sweat session every day.  The latter has made all the difference.  Listening to my body and doing something daily has helped me reach so many goals.  Even through a tough school year, I promise to treat my body right and keep fitness my priority, I know that with this everything else will fall into place.

What are some ways you make fitness a priority?

Happy Things

In light of Monday's post I wanted to create a fun list of all things that make me happy.  We are all so beautiful and so unique.  Everyone was created for a different purpose; that is to live your own best life. Not anyone else's.

So perfection stemming from comparison doesn't get us to the place of happiness or living well.  I find that when I am in a place of want want want I need to shift my mindset and think about what I have, what I love, and what truly makes me happy. So here it is in no particular order; my happy list:

Puppy tail wags and sloppy kisses

Savoring a delicious meal that you dream about for days after

Completing a tough workout and feeling so strong after

Coffee

Journaling in the early mornings

Long walks with friends [and Finn]

Popcorn and M&M's at the movies

A gorgeous sunset

Running a race

Standing in front of a vast view [mountains or beach] that creates wonder and awe and that feeling of being small

Feeling creative and inspired

An outfit, make up, and hair that makes you feel like you can take on the world

Completing a tough project

Wine & Cheese

The look on a child's face when they learn something new and do it all by themselves

Lovely conversations with girlfriends

Traveling to a new place and truly getting to explore

Learning about people; their stories, their culture, their daily life

Creating something delicious in the kitchen while drinking wine and chatting about life with my man

Being engrossed in a really good book

Getting something at a really good price [clothes, furniture, fun items] I love a deal!

A beautiful yoga practice

Green plants making living spaces warm, homey, and beautiful

Laughing until you cry

I could probably sit here all day and brainstorm more and more happy things.  Once you start thinking of one more pop in your head - it's a really great practice to lift your spirits and help you realize living your best life means doing more of what makes you happy. I intend to incorporate more of my list above into my daily routine to continue to strive for health and happiness!

What are some things that make you happy?

On Striving for Perfection

Today we are getting a little more raw and a lot more real here on Sweet Surrender.  I have been wrestling with the concept of perfection for a little while and wanted to share my journey and thoughts through this process. Comparison is a topic that is brought up in the blog world quite frequently and I wrote a post about that here. Perfection or wanting perfection is sometimes stemmed from comparison but in my case today it is coming from a variety of places.

I am a to- do list maker, people pleaser, rule follower, and strive for recognition that I am doing the right thing. Lately, striving to get it all done, to have my apartment be beautiful and pinterest worthy only a week after we moved in, to have the right clothes, hair, & make up, and to make all those around me happy, has had the opposite effect.  Reaching for perfection has made me miserable. It's exhausting.  It's also not worth it at all. In trying to do all the things I was actually losing myself, who I was, and what truly makes me happy.

Perfection isn't an attainable thing at all.  We all fall short.  We all make mistakes.  We all live very different lives and that's okay.  I am learning to accept myself.  I am learning to thrive in the imperfections.  Most of all God's grace is free flowing. If he can forgive me through it all, why can't I learn to forgive myself and give myself permission to slow down?

My apartment will take time to get organized and saving for a couch won't happen overnight.  Sometimes others aren't going to be thrilled at the decisions I make for myself and that's okay.  My wardrobe will take time to build. I have so much to be grateful for right now.  Wanting perfection will only bring misery.  Practicing gratitude brings joy.

Instead of striving for perfection I have created a new goal: strive for health and happiness.  When I am making healthy choices and decision that bring me joy I am my best self. We only get one life to live and I don't want to waste mine guilt tripping myself and creating unnecessary anxiety because perfection simply couldn't be reached.  I want to spend the time I have living my best life.

Have you had to shift your mindset when it comes to perfection? How has that changed your life for the better? 

How to Stay Healthy on Vacation

Location: Hatteras, OBX | a throwback to Finn's first time at the beach!

Today, I am off to the beach for a much needed vacation.  My family has been exchanging group emails and messages all week long preparing for this trip. With how much I have researched and delved into health and nutrition this year I don't want to have a week that does me more harm than good.  That got me thinking.  We are texting about our packing items and events that are being planned so why can't we prepare to have a healthy vacation as well?

I am sharing some of my favorite ways to stay healthy while taking a necessary break from the every day life and routine.

1. Get moving. Go for morning walks with your coffee first thing in the morning.  You will get to explore your vacation spot and get your metabolism kickstarted by moving early before the rest of the world wakes up!

2. Do what you can. If you don't eat 100% clean and workout for an hour and a half every single day while you're on vacation; know that it's totally okay.  It's better to do a little something than nothing.  Change your mindset about your workouts and focus on what you can/ are able to do and do that!  Every little bit matters, no matter how little.

3. Focus on nutrition. We are bringing some already prepped meals [go mom with the zucchini lasagna!] lots and lots of healthy snacks, and healthy options that we can't live without daily.  Bringing items from home will help you stick to your meal plans as well as save money and the hassle of beach grocery stores on check in days. We are also renting a beach house, meaning we can cook more meals at home rather than eat out.  If you have to eat out just make sure your meals are lean, clean, and green!

4. Enjoy your vacation + rest. Our bodies need sleep and rest just as much as they need movement and fuel. Don't be so focused on your fitness goals that you miss life.  Eat that local decadence.  Spend time with your family or friends.  Take a nap in the sun on the beach.  Being present in the moment and taking in the adventure as it comes will do wonders for your overall wellness.

5. Think outside the "gym".  Find some fun ways to explore and be active. When I am at the beach, I love trying things like standup paddle boarding or kayaking.  If you are vacationing on a budget; running up and down the beach with the pup is always a fun adventure.  Be active in your experiences.  You will not only stay happy and healthy you will make some fun memories in the process.

What are your favorite ways to stay healthy on vacation?

Summertime Self Care

Sweet summertime is here.  Can you tell that I am excited? This summer my priority is going to be self care for sure.

This school year has been a learning experience for me for sure.  Ultimately I had a few students who monopolized my time leaving me playing catch up due to many re-adjustments in my schedule.   I had a few months where I was simply drained.  Having a routine during the school year for after work saved me.  I made taking care of myself a priority because of the nature of my job I knew I wouldn't be able to perform well if I didn't.

Now I have a whole summer ahead of me but I am still going to take into account self care.

Self care is something that fuels you; mind, body, and spirit.  What are the things that leave you feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world? What drives your passions?

For me self care means a lot of different things.  At the most basic it means always eating healthy foods and working out because if I don't feel well then nothing else can get done.  I feel my best when I am consistent with Tone It Up.  Then there are my simple routines that I have daily, if I don't do these things I feel off.  I would consider this self care too.  Examples are my devotional and journaling with my morning coffee as well as walking my pup.

Then there are the extra self care things.  These practices don't have to be a daily routine but I know that if I take time out of my day to do them then I feel so much better, happier, and more like myself.  These self care practices for me are doing something creative like blogging, photography, or reading.  Spending time with people also makes it to my self care list.  I feel alive when I have events planned and people to see.  I also love doing little things over the summer to just relax like laying out at the pool or a DIY home spa day.  My soul is fueled by nature as well so I always try to spend as much time outside in the summer as I can.

This summer will definitely be spent doing all the self care things!

What are some of your favorite self care practices and routines for the summer?

Bikini Series 2017 | Halfway Point

source

I have mentioned Tone It Up before, probably way to many times, but my love for the trainers and this program are worth mentioning! I love how flexible tone it up makes working out and eating.  Just follow the rules - but make it your own.  It's a lifestyle after all.  They are constantly coming up with new recipes, workouts, and general life tips that are always positive and encouraging.

We are now in week 4 of the summer bikini series.  Although, I am pretty terrible at check ins.  Which is where you post your meals and workout photos on instagram to keep up with everyone else doing the challenge, and to receive and give encouragement.  My office has NO service so I just don't / can't use my phone then pretty much forget after I am home.

Even though I don't post check ins regularly it doesn't mean I am not following along with the meals and workouts.  I have been loving this bikini series.  I am learning so much throughout this process, especially since this is the first bikini series I have been following.

I haven't noticed too many physical changes or weight changes but I don't necessarily have a lot of weight I need to really lose. The changes I am seeing are more mental.  I am getting better at refusing foods that don't serve me healthy purposes or make me feel like crap.  I have also noticed that I am doing more every single day.  I always have been one to work out - but I also had days or weeks where I just didn't.  Now I am more consistent in doing something every single day whether it be a short video, walk with the pup, or inviting friends to go to bootcamp or yoga. In turn, doing something pretty much every day has incredibly helped my mood. I also find that when I workout I pick healthier options to eat because I want to fuel my body and treat myself better.  It becomes a healthy cycle.  It's so much better than the old spiraling into unhealthy choices that I fell victim to often.

I can't wait to see what the next 4 weeks of the challenge have in store for me.  Just in time for summer!!

What is your favorite way to improve your overall wellness?

How I Meal Plan and Organize My Week

Today is the first day of the bikini series with Tone It Up!  Go beach babes, you got this!! I will be joining you soon :) This week I actually didn't plan or prep anything because I am camping in West Virginia with thirty 4th graders and all of our meals are being provided at the campsite.  I am just going to enjoy the experience and still try to be as healthy as possible with what I have.  

I wanted to share a little of how I typically prep for success for my upcoming week.  It's kind of funny because I used to not be a planner at all.  Then I went to grad school and it all changed.  I had to be super organized - working 2 jobs, taking graduate classes, keeping up with homework, internships, and social obligations - not to mention planning meals for all this running around and trying to fit in workouts. 

Since I am on a budget I started meal planning as well as planning out all my events all together.  I wanted to know what I was doing for the upcoming week so I could plan meals around it or have healthy options to bring with me.  Eating out was never really an option because of the added cost that brings.  

Now I am not in grad school but still living a pretty hectic life I have found peace of mind in being a little prepared for what is coming.  So every week I get out my computer, colored pens, my Passion Planner, and a notepad for lists and get to work.  I check a few things.  1. My school calendar 2. My personal calendar 3. Offline [a fun app that posts events in Charlotte] 4. Tone It Up's weekly schedule for workout 5. My tone it up Nutrition plan.  

First, I put everything into my planner according to the time I want to accomplish things.  I even make sure to write down journal time in there because there is power in writing your goals down and I need that time set aside for prayer and self care! Then I add in workouts from tone it up or classes like bootcamp or yoga that I typically go to with friends during the week.  Lastly I plan out my meals.  I plan out what I am going to eat for every single meal each day of the week.  I try to make it as simple as possible and tone it up has taught me how to reuse ingredients for multiple recipes so nothing goes to waste!  This also helps you be creative with your meals multiple times throughout the week instead of just getting things to make one meal like I used to do [My old roomie / current bestie would be so proud] After the meals are planned I make my grocery list and head out to Trader Joes.  Sometimes I will even prep for the week especially if there is something like muffins I want to eat multiple days but not always.  I pack my lunch for work every night so while I am at it I prep for all my meals for the day ahead. 

I find that I am calmer and more likely to reach my goals when I set aside this time every weekend.  Meal planning and organizing my life with my calendar I feel has made me a bit more successful from week to week.  Of course things always come up but I am not ever far from my planner to check and make adjustments.  Or if I happen to go out to eat I consciously make a healthy choice and then just shifts some meals around. There are so many ways to prepare for the week ahead but I find the most important thing is to think about what you truly want to accomplish.  At the end of the day or the week what will you be proud of yourself for when you look back and plan to do those things!

How do you set yourself up for a successful week?

It's Been Two Years

I love reflecting on life.  My favorite past time is taking pictures so I can look back through them and cherish the memories of those moments captured in time.  I have tons of scrapbooks taking up space in my hall closet full of smiles, adventures, and bad hair days haha.

We don't really take photos and craft a cute scrapbook about the tough stuff in life.  Those are the days where the camera is collecting dust on the shelf.  Tears are typically shed.  Prayers are uttered in quiet rooms for some relief.

It's been two years exactly [as of yesterday] that I had a pretty scary situation.  I haven't really shared my story or my thoughts on it besides conversations with close friends, but I felt like it was time to reflect on how that moment changed the course of my life.

On April fools day, two years ago, I woke up with the most intense pain ever.  I ran through all sorts of scary thoughts in my head wondering what the heck was wrong with me.  I called my mom in tears on the bathroom floor hoping for the pain to pass and it never did.  Then I started texting and calling all of my grad school friends - I needed a ride to the ER. asap. Something just wasn't right in my body. After a day in the ER, feeling terrified undergoing tests and ultrasounds but no one really saying anything to me.  I could just read on the doctors and technicians faces that whatever was going on was unusual.  I was so scared because I truly had no idea and neither did they.  I ended up getting discharged with an appointment to see an ob/ gyn the next day.

My doctor was very kind and walked me through everything.  She said I had a dermoid cyst on my uterus that was very large and she wanted to operate as soon as possible.  We scheduled the surgery - me wide eyed - wondering how something so big could just be hanging out inside me with out me knowing.  My parents made arrangements to come stay with me the next week and we got a friend to take care of my dog while I was recovering and then I just waited for the big day.

The day of surgery is a blur.  Anesthesia and pain meds will do that to you.  Apparently, I sent my sister some very flattering snap chat selfies that she took screenshots of.  I guarantee those will make an appearance at a very opportune moment for humiliation purposes.

I do remember my doctor coming in and checking on me. She explained that when they made the cut the doctors realized that I didn't have a dermoid cyst, I had a fibroid tumor that was way larger than originally anticipated.  They had to extend my incision to ensure they could take the whole thing out.  This was only supposed to be an out patient surgery but because of the unexpected fibroid inside of me I had to stay overnight.

The fibroid was benign, praise God, but it still made a huge impact on my life.  I am left with a reminder of the fear, anxiety, and unknown every single day since I have a 5 inch almost c-section like scar on my stomach.  My recovery was hard.  The week before I was in the ER I had just run a race with a bunch of friends.  Now, I was being told not to work out and take it easy.  I could barely walk to classes.  I had to take a month off of work as a server.

Moments like these aren't in the scrapbooks.  They are burned into our brain remembering every feeling, every thought, every moment.  I resolved to always be brave.  To take risks.  To live my life to the fullest. To do things that make my heart happy way more often.  I made a commitment to be even healthier and take care of my body.  The human body is an incredible thing and we only get one of them.  I am proud to say that I was able to recover and run my first half marathon by the end of that summer.  What an incredible emotional experience that was, knowing that months earlier I was in the hospital, but my body was able to run 13.1 miles in the mountains.

Sometimes I am struck by the fear of asking myself - what if it happens again?  Then I remember how blessed I have been in the past 2 years.  All of the things I have accomplished.  The relationships with people I love that have only gotten deeper and stronger as a result.  I am so thankful that God teaches me little lessons every day about how amazing this life truly is.  My tough moment isn't in a scrapbook, it doesn't have to be, I carry the scar with me, but I learn from it every single day.

What has been a pivotal moment in your history? 

Choices

We make choices every single day that can completely change the trajectory of how our day will go. Choices that not only will affect that moment we are in where the decision is made but every possible choice afterward. The choices that we make can have positive or negative effects on ourselves and the people that we encounter.

Now, we all can pinpoint the days and the times that we had to make big choices.  Those are thoughtful and calculated.  Typically choices that could affect things like where we live, our career changes,  or to be in a relationship with a person or not are those that we think about for days before finally coming to the moment where we make that big choice.

But what about the little choices? How much thought to we put into choices that we make throughout going about our daily routine.  Things like, how did you choose what to eat for lunch or dinner today? Did you really really think about your whole entire budget and financial life plan before making your mid morning latte run or throwing those few extra things in your cart at target?

The little choices in our life are typically made by our feelings or even our routine is so mundane that those choices aren't even considered a choice -it just happened.  But what if it didn't just happen?  I have been reflecting on how the little choices that we make can have the biggest impact on our lives.  Maybe not right away but eventually.

For example, if you are trying to make healthier lifestyle changes but you decide to veer off your meal / workout plan based on your feelings or cravings - what does that choice say?  Does that choice stay one choice or does it continue to be a choice that can sabotage your health?

We typically know the right choices to make for ourselves but dismiss them because of their seeming small insignificance on the big life picture.  What if you paused?  What if you made that choice for yourself after some thought that thinks about not only this moment but future moments too?  I am not saying over analyze every single moment and throw yourself into a fit of indecisiveness because now everything is such a big deal but just pause maybe a second longer. What choice would you make if you took impulsivity out of the equation?

My goal is to make positive choices every day toward my wellness.  No matter how little the choice at the time might be - it can change everything!

What are you going to do with the choices you have to make?