How Gratitude is Life Changing

Hello sweet friends,

It has been a while but I am back, in this new year, feeling inspired to write again.  I go through stages with this blog, an identity crisis of sorts, much like life; not really knowing what I want to write or share and what I want this space to be.  But, after some reflection, I keep coming back to this passion of mine which is wellness and living my best life.  I have a heart for helping others do that as well.  In my day job I help kids realize their strengths and how to solve problems.  My dream for this blog is to be a place for people to come to feel inspired by my life and stories to put their best foot forward and live their best life, whatever that looks like.

I have struggles and am by no means perfect but I am learning every single day.

On thing I have learned is practicing gratitude daily.  I have mentioned gratitude a lot on this blog before, type it in the search bar and half a dozen posts at least come up. 

If you look up gratitude in the dictionary the definition is: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. You see the word itself is a noun but the end of the definition [to return kindness] that is a verb, an action of returning kindness to the things and people you are grateful for.  Pretty powerful stuff.  

There are plenty of studies on gratitude which explains how it truly helps change our mindset.  I even teach gratitude to my students as a coping skill for when they are upset or suicidal because it truly does get you out of that dark place. 

I struggle with anxiety.  My anxiety comes from a place of striving for perfection and not feeling good enough. I have to actively avoid social media because I will get myself stuck in comparison.  I know my triggers but it is something I have to work toward daily. 

A few months ago, I started journaling ten things that I am grateful for every single day.  I didn't really think much of it, I am already an avid journal writer.  I didn't realize how much that simple act would change my life.  I don't spend much time on it.  Sometimes one of my ten things I am grateful for that day is my cup of coffee or my dog, to other things like a sweet conversation I had with a friend, or the fact that my bills are always paid, etc. You get the picture. 

In finding ten things a day I am grateful for a few things happened.  I started noticing things.  I paid more attention to the world around me, not only that but the good things around me.  I actually spent less money! I was more appreciative of the things I already have so I didn't feel the need to buy something new to "keep up" My anxiety decreased significantly.  I didn't let the little things get to me so much or get worked up about my to do list or what others were thinking.  I simply felt different, it's hard to explain, but lighter and happier somehow.  My boyfriend mentioned he noticed the change in me as well.

You guys, this gratitude practice works.  Actively writing down and thinking of things you are thankful for not only changes you from the inside but other people notice it as well.

In 2019 challenge yourself to practice gratitude and see how your world changes for the better. 

Happy Things

In light of Monday's post I wanted to create a fun list of all things that make me happy.  We are all so beautiful and so unique.  Everyone was created for a different purpose; that is to live your own best life. Not anyone else's.

So perfection stemming from comparison doesn't get us to the place of happiness or living well.  I find that when I am in a place of want want want I need to shift my mindset and think about what I have, what I love, and what truly makes me happy. So here it is in no particular order; my happy list:

Puppy tail wags and sloppy kisses

Savoring a delicious meal that you dream about for days after

Completing a tough workout and feeling so strong after

Coffee

Journaling in the early mornings

Long walks with friends [and Finn]

Popcorn and M&M's at the movies

A gorgeous sunset

Running a race

Standing in front of a vast view [mountains or beach] that creates wonder and awe and that feeling of being small

Feeling creative and inspired

An outfit, make up, and hair that makes you feel like you can take on the world

Completing a tough project

Wine & Cheese

The look on a child's face when they learn something new and do it all by themselves

Lovely conversations with girlfriends

Traveling to a new place and truly getting to explore

Learning about people; their stories, their culture, their daily life

Creating something delicious in the kitchen while drinking wine and chatting about life with my man

Being engrossed in a really good book

Getting something at a really good price [clothes, furniture, fun items] I love a deal!

A beautiful yoga practice

Green plants making living spaces warm, homey, and beautiful

Laughing until you cry

I could probably sit here all day and brainstorm more and more happy things.  Once you start thinking of one more pop in your head - it's a really great practice to lift your spirits and help you realize living your best life means doing more of what makes you happy. I intend to incorporate more of my list above into my daily routine to continue to strive for health and happiness!

What are some things that make you happy?

On Striving for Perfection

Today we are getting a little more raw and a lot more real here on Sweet Surrender.  I have been wrestling with the concept of perfection for a little while and wanted to share my journey and thoughts through this process. Comparison is a topic that is brought up in the blog world quite frequently and I wrote a post about that here. Perfection or wanting perfection is sometimes stemmed from comparison but in my case today it is coming from a variety of places.

I am a to- do list maker, people pleaser, rule follower, and strive for recognition that I am doing the right thing. Lately, striving to get it all done, to have my apartment be beautiful and pinterest worthy only a week after we moved in, to have the right clothes, hair, & make up, and to make all those around me happy, has had the opposite effect.  Reaching for perfection has made me miserable. It's exhausting.  It's also not worth it at all. In trying to do all the things I was actually losing myself, who I was, and what truly makes me happy.

Perfection isn't an attainable thing at all.  We all fall short.  We all make mistakes.  We all live very different lives and that's okay.  I am learning to accept myself.  I am learning to thrive in the imperfections.  Most of all God's grace is free flowing. If he can forgive me through it all, why can't I learn to forgive myself and give myself permission to slow down?

My apartment will take time to get organized and saving for a couch won't happen overnight.  Sometimes others aren't going to be thrilled at the decisions I make for myself and that's okay.  My wardrobe will take time to build. I have so much to be grateful for right now.  Wanting perfection will only bring misery.  Practicing gratitude brings joy.

Instead of striving for perfection I have created a new goal: strive for health and happiness.  When I am making healthy choices and decision that bring me joy I am my best self. We only get one life to live and I don't want to waste mine guilt tripping myself and creating unnecessary anxiety because perfection simply couldn't be reached.  I want to spend the time I have living my best life.

Have you had to shift your mindset when it comes to perfection? How has that changed your life for the better? 

Gratitude Lately

Every once in a while - when I feel like I need to refocus and recharge I turn to gratitude.  I love making gratitude lists that remind me of all the wonderful things I have in my life.  Focusing on the positive gives me the fuel to change my mind set and take on the days ahead.

Here is a little of what I am grateful for lately:

Countdown to Summer.  We are less than 25 days with students left, people.  Here comes the beach trips, the country concerts, the sunshine filled days, reading books by the pool, and so much more!

Finding my Groove. This year of school has been a learning experience for sure but the past couple of weeks I feel like I have finally gotten the hang of my responsibilities - of course with the year almost over - but now I have ideas to get started on the right foot next year!

Tone It Up. The community. The workouts, The delicious nutrition plan.  Enough said.

Date Nights with the Parents. This past weekend we went out for pizza and a movie.  I brought a coupon and got a fun date night catching up with my parents after my trip.  I love spending time with those two.

Puppy Cuddles. because some days you just have to sit on the floor and pet your dog and he let's it happen; even encourages it.

Making Goals and Reaching Them.  Some of my big goals this year are financial ones [namely: pay off that student loan debt!] which, wont happen over night, but I have made a lot of gains and adjustments in my budget that helps me meet monthly goals and overall contributing to my big goals! Yay.

What are you grateful for today? 

10 Happy Things

Happy April, sweet friends.  Reflecting back on March and the month that it has been can be summed up in one word; insane.  The thing about being a school counselor is that most everything that I deal with is confidential.  Which is great until some pretty intense stuff happens that I just can't share.  To be honest, if I did tell, the average lay person would probably not believe that those are the things I encounter on a daily basis.  Each day, I never know what I am going to get, then when you add up every single day together it's kind of mind blowing.

I know that's super vague but I will say that after this month I am trying to find more ways to separate my work life from everything else.  My days are consumed with being "on it" and if I come home and still worry about everything from my day my whole life becomes affected.

One thing that helps is gratitude.  So I decided to make a happy list of all the things I am loving lately.

1. Happy green plants growing by the window in pretty pots.
2. Yoga sessions that get me out of my head and remind me of the strength in my body.
3. Puppy tail wiggles and kisses when I walk through the door.
4. Friend dates with deep conversation and lots of laughter.
5. Sunshine bringing warmth to my skin.
6. Flowy spring dresses and fun sandals to make a cute outfit.
7. Hikes on new trails and witnessing signs of new life in nature.
8. Achieving goals, making plans, and dreaming for the future.
9. Journaling every morning over a fresh cup of coffee to wake up my soul.
10. Spring cleaning and organizing that helps clear out my mind and home of clutter.

What is on your happy list?

27 Laps Around the Sun

 Sunglasses|Necklace|Dress[Similar]|Booties|Bag|Fitbit

Today is my 27th birthday.  I was reflecting this morning in my journal on what I thought 27 would be like.  When we are young 27 seems so old and so wise.  Yet, as I sit here at my kitchen table attempting to get caught up on big girl things like budgeting, cleaning, and organizing I feel like I have no idea what I am doing.

Maybe that's what life is though.  Learning little lessons along the way and just taking it one day at a time, one year at a time.  I know that I am learning so much about myself and who I want to be in this world. Even in one year I have grown so much as a person.  For the little lessons I have learned I am so incredibly grateful.

I can't help but practice gratitude on this sunny morning.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to live this life another year.  I am grateful for friends who have been showering me with birthday wishes already this morning.  I am grateful for a chance to celebrate with the people I love tonight.  I am grateful to be redeemed by my loving and forgiving savior, daily.  I am such a lucky girl.

This year will be a wonderful year.  I can feel it.  Dreams and goals are flowing through my planner.  Passions are igniting my creativity.  Friend dates are being planned.  Yoga classes will be attended.  Even more lessons will be learned.  Journaling and devotionals will change me every day. Healthy me is a priority.  Financial goals are being met.  And most importantly life is being filled with wonder, being brave, and adventure.

Now I'm off to spend a day doing the things I love with the people I love and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday to Me! 

Gratitude Lately

When I read the book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are  it left such a huge impact on my life.  I even talked about it in this post.  Every so often, when the to do list seems to only grow, students seem to need a counselor more than ever, and there are not enough hours in the day, I need to stop everything that I am doing.

Making a gratitude list is like hitting the reset button for me.  Thinking of things I am thankful for changes my outlook.  It's more than that too, gratitude helps us look for the good in everything around us.  Gratitude forces us to find joy in the little things; including all the daily tasks that we have on that growing to do list.

Here are some of the things I am grateful for lately:

1. Yoga.  Especially free/ really cheap yoga with friends at local breweries.  Recently, I have become a regular at a few yoga classes offered around the city; fan girl over here.  Yoga has become one of my favorite things to do for self care.

2. My Blessed Is She devotionals.  This community of Christian women have some powerful messages daily, it follows the liturgical calendar for bible readings and the reflections are literally spot on what I need every single morning.  Best enjoyed with a journal and coffee.

3. School Counselor Week.  I find that a lot of people really have no idea that my job even exists.  I love the work that I do and one of my passions is advocating for schools and students. This week is national school counselor week for just that reason.  My school has been so wonderful recognizing me and my co- counselor for what we do around the school.  It's nice to feel appreciated.  If you want to learn more about school counselors: check out ASCA.

4. Plants.  Lately, I have had an obsession with gardening.  I currently have one window that lets in light with a shelf right in front of that is overflowing with more and more plants I keep getting. But green, growth just warms my soul.

5. Birthday Celebrations.  The month of February brings my birthday.  I am currently planning out all my celebrations.  I can't wait to go to a fun place with all the people I love to honor another trip around the sun.  It's going to be so wonderful.

What have you been grateful for lately?

Gratitude

A few summers ago, I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp and it completely rocked my world.  From then on, I started incorporating gratitude into my daily life.  I even attempted to keep a gratitude notebook like she did in the book [I still add to it from time to time].  But my favorite way to practice gratitude is to just take a deep breath and list in my head the things I am thankful for in that particular moment.  This practice has helped me clear my head, especially those moments, when my anxiety is particularly out of control.

Even though, I try to practice gratitude year round, this time of year always brings my focus back to what is truly important in life and what I am thankful for.  So without further ado, here is my gratitude list for the day:

1. My community.  The people in my life, namely my family and friends, who support me and all of my dreams constantly, who do life with me, who will have long heart to hearts with me over a bottle of wine, and who simply loves me for who I am. You are all my people.

2. The finnster.  My sweet pup who always greets me with a wagging tail and sloppy kisses, who I get to drag on long walks with daily, and who simply puts a smile on my face by being present. Stay weird dog, stay weird.

3. School family.  The wonderfully resilient students that I get to go to work to every single day.  You matter. My wonderful coworkers who put forth countless hours of work to love and teach these babies.  I see you and your work is so valued and important.

4. Health.  Having a pretty big surgery changes you.  I am so grateful for my body.  Fueling my body with healthy foods and pushing it to be strong and fit is just one of the ways I say thank you to myself.

5. Creative mind.  To be able to pursue my love of writing and photography.  For engaging in creative projects that keep me energized ranging from painting to home decor and pretty much everything in between.  You keep my spirit lively.

6. Jesus. Really He is number one. I'm grateful for the ultimate sacrifice. For the cross that redeems me each and every day.  For the Word that pushes me, wrecks me, speaks to me, and encourages me daily.

There are so many more things to be grateful for this season.  My hope is to honor each of those things I listed and make sure that the people in my life truly know I appreciate them.

What is on your gratitude list today?