On My Heart: School Counseling

[photo from the #RedforEd march in Raleigh, you can read about that here] 

It's time to head back to school.  After a summer full of sunshine and rest I feel ready to go back to school. I am excited to get into my office and decorate.  I am mentally prepared to check my school email, crack open my brand new planner and go. 

People often ask me what I do.  When I respond that I am a school counselor, they nod having a vague understanding of what a counselor might do in a high school setting.  Then I tell them I am at an elementary school and the look of confusion comes across their face.  I can tell they are thinking "why in the world does an elementary school need a counselor?" The bold who are very confused even ask again "so what do you do in an elementary school?"  I know this comes from a good hearted place but sometimes its difficult for me to explain because I value my job so much and often times feel like I am coming across as defensive.  I am so passionate about my students and more importantly needed in an elementary school.

So what is it that I do?

I teach kids about their emotions, social skills, and how to solve conflict appropriately.  Elementary ages students are not immune to dark and sensitive topics but they are the most vulnerable and sometimes don't know how to process what is going on in their little world.  My job is there to help them come to some sort of understanding within themselves - yes often times it's through play because at the age of 5 - 10 play is their language. 

In an age where mental health is starting to be talked about but still a stigma at the same time - my job is much more important that you can imagine.  I am so busy all day every day.  There are 2 counselors and a social worker in my building serving over 850 students and their families and still there are not enough hours in a day or people to help with everything we have going on. 

Think about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  No one knew.  The world was shocked by their completed suicides.  I read an article where they explained it so well - we all knew when Selena Gomez underwent her surgery for her health issues or any other celebrity who announced their cancer / health issues / etc.  No one talked about depression and anxiety.  Everyone was surprised that the happiest funniest person Robin Williams was struggling with depression...

And yes, even at the elementary age I have to deal with suicidal thoughts and sometimes behaviors.  We have a lot of suicide assessments and help kids process those emotions and come up with a safe way to express them. Early intervention and education might just combat the fact that adults feel like they have to hide and have no where to turn. 

An 8 year old has a fight with a friend and is upset about it so they will write me a note saying they want to talk and process a problem.  They are open to counseling and discussing the difficult times. We are breaking the stigma in an elementary school.  It is crucial that we give our kids space to be themselves, the good and the sometimes very tough and sad.

I do so much more than mental health in my role at the school.  I wear many many hats.  But the most important thing that I have learned is that kids absorb everything.  They hear and they know everything that is going on around them.  Yes, parents, you may think you were being quiet or not seen but you were. Those little eyes and ears know more than you think.  They have feelings, and worries, and get scared when they witness something they don't understand. When adults brush it off and act like they are "just kids" and have no idea whats going on it hurts because they do and they just need their loved ones to talk to them in a way that their brains can understand and process it. You shouldn't treat your kids like adults either and share everything with them the way you would share with a best friend.  But be mindful - little ones are around so they will be affected in someway or another by what is said or done in your home.

So yes I am a school counselor.  Yes I am at an elementary school.  Yes I am busy all day long and deal with more than you can even imagine.  I know that I am serving a purpose where I am.  I believe in my students.  I am helping lay the foundation of successful citizens of this world who will have empathy and process their emotions safely without being afraid to seek help.  I am bringing the light of Christ into sometimes very dark places.  I love my job even though some people don't understand.  It's okay because I know that it is important and I am making a small difference in this world.

Red for EDucation

Location: Raleigh, NC

The other week I had the opportunity to do the most incredible thing I have ever done. I took a stand for something that I believe in.  Something that gets me fired up.  Something that is consistently undervalued and looked over. Public education.

My students are my driving force each and every single day.  They are the reason I go to work and get to do what I do.  They are the reason I come home drained and exhausted and sometimes so emotional because I believe in them so much.  My students are the reason that I fight for better opportunities, the reason that I vote, the reason that I march. 

I am constantly inspired by my students.  They have such resilience and creativity.  They show up every single day despite everything that they go through.  So I got to show up for them.  I did something for them to prove that they matter.  My students matter.  Public education matters.  My job matters.  And you know what paying my bills and making ends meet should matter too. It's time that North Carolina steps up and joins forces with this incredible momentum sweeping our nation.  Public educators demanding their worth.

I have never done anything like this before.  We traveled to the state capital and marched for respect and our students along side 20,000 other educators.  It was a powerful experience.  Our governor spoke as we rallied for change in the government and change in funding policies for NC education. Everyone there was united under the same purpose.  It was so inspiring to see.  I loved all of the creative signs that proved the harsh reality of teachers and asked for change.  Teachers really do know how to show up and prove their point.  I am so grateful for this humbling experience.

Have you ever had the opportunity to take a stand for something that you truly believed in? What was your experience like?

Sweet School Moments

I am a school counselor.

I feel like this is the place I am supposed to be at right now in my life.  I truly love my job.  I love the service that I get to do for kids each and every day.

But.

It's tough.

I can't lie and say that I don't have my moments.  Nothing gets me more fired up than the injustices in my students lives and our schools.  Some days I have a session with a student or parent that leaves me really sad because I have poured my heart and soul into helping but my efforts can only go so far.  That is why I am such an advocate for self care.

Some days at school though there are moments of light. Every year our science lab hatches chicks while the students learn about life cycles.  We only get to have the chicks at the school for a short time.  The moments that I get to pop in and see the kids interacting with the baby chicks are so life giving.  It is always good to be reminded that my students are simply kids, full of wonder and joy with the world around them.  Children are the innocents and they should always be given chances for play and exploration. 

I got to play with the chicks one afternoon outside as well and they are just so adorable.  It truly helped cheer me up for the week to have a fun cuteness break.

What is something that reminds you about the good things in life, whether it be at work or home?

School's Out for Summer!

It is finally summertime for me, well aside from workdays and lots of random training days through the summer.  School will officially not have students in the building until August.  I have been trying to reflect and process on the end of the school year for this post, yet, I can't seem to find the words.

This school year has been a year of many firsts for me.  This school year was my first full year as a school counselor [I was hired mid year last year and was doing my internship for grad school simultaneously] I had so many trials and learning experiences throughout the year.

This job is rewarding and exhausting all at the same time.  When I was a teacher I was just plain tired.  I could talk all day about my opinions on teaching, how it's the hardest job and teachers don't get what they deserve in so many aspects but that could be a whole series of other blog posts.  Being a counselor means you have to be even more adaptable and emotionally available to whatever might come your way.  A lot of people still have no idea what my job entails.  A few pet peeves of mine: calling me a guidance counselor and questioning why elementary age kids might even need mental health support.  Oh if you only knew...

I can honestly say that I am right where I am supposed to be. I have so many goals and ideas swimming in my head of how to improve upon the school counseling program for next year.  As I sit back and reflect on this past year I have learned a few things.

1.  Self care NEEDS to be a priority.
2.  Kids matter.
3.  Being fully present and listening to someone can be life changing.
4.  The kids who need love the most show it in the most inappropriate ways.  
5.  Building relationships takes time but keep trying and reaching out. Relationship is the foundation for success and change. 
6.  School culture is unlike anything else.  
7.  Be an advocate for doing what is right for kids. 
8.  No two days look the same - even if your calendar might plan for it to seem that way. 
9.  Kiddos can't help where they come from, it's not their fault, and it's not our responsibility to blame.  We need to teach it all - social skills, behavior, manners, AND math, reading, science, etc. with patience and love. 
10.  Being kind will take you more places than you know. 

To all you teachers and school employees out there; I hope you have a happy and healthy summer! What have you learned this school year? 

Currently | June

Location: Vintage Charlotte Market at Camp North End

It's June, y'all.  I am in my last week of school.  It is the craziest week of the year, with field days celebrations, and talent show performances.  I have been running around school making the most of my days by spending quality time with students.  I am linking up with Anne and Erin for this months edition of Currently - which if you notice I am in summer mode full force.

planning: Summertime adventures.  I am lucky enough to not be working at the school over the summer.  So I am using my summer to do blog work, teach swim lessons, and take some fun trips to get some much needed R&R before next school year.

wishing: For sunny days.  It has been storming lately here which is definitely the norm for Charlotte in the summer.  But a girl can dream for sunny summer days, lighter hair, and a tan; right? 

learning: About myself and my career choice.  This year was my first full year as a school counselor and it has definitely been formidable for me.  I have so much to reflect upon from this past year so that I can start planning how to improve upon the counseling program for next year.  

browsing: Summer outfit ideas.  Living in the mountains for as long as I have; I didn't really have need for summer clothes so my wardrobe is pretty lacking.  I am loving all the cute styles for this summer and can't wait to share as I build summer clothes. 

going: To the Outer Banks in a week to visit my sister with my family.  I couldn't be more excited.  I have talked about it on here for a few months now.  I am in need of a beach vacation and family time. 

What are you currently up to?

Country Roads Take Me Home

Last week I had the privilege of chaperoning a week long field trip camping trip for 30 of my 4th graders at my school.  I was a little hesitant to go at first because I didn't know what to expect but now that I am home I am so grateful that I had this great opportunity. While I can't post any pictures of my students on here I can assure you they had a blast on this trip as well. 

My school was able to go on this trip through a grant from the National Park Service.  The school I work at is a title 1 school [for those non school lingo speaking folk that means low income] so camping / summer camps is not something that my students are ever exposed to.  We were able to have everything provided for us through this grant.  The trip was planned out so perfectly by one of the Rangers who developed the program.  We were the first group this was tried out on and you would have never known.  

The whole week was planned out with all sorts of hands on lessons for the students.  I loved watching their engagement in the lessons, learning about science and nature.  The kiddos eyes were filled with wonder and joy throughout the whole week.  Add in sleeping in cabins with bunk beds and their friends and campfires every night the week for the 4th graders was camp bliss. 

Not only was this trip a once and a life time experience for my students it was so good for me.  My head has been swimming with goals and plans and expectations but this week forced me to slow down and be present.  I went out and hiked multiple times a day, got to journal by the rushing river, and just simply enjoyed being outside in creation.  My soul is always the most at peace outdoors near mountains or water - this camp was perfectly situated by both! 

One of my favorite moments was in the evening all the adults were sitting by the campfire waiting for the kids to shower and start lights out.  I had a clear view into my cabin to keep an eye on my girls.  I looked up and saw them all playing uno together on one of the top bunks, smiling, laughing, and getting to be kids.  They got to experience true friendships and relationship building this week by playing games, being outside, and us banning them from technology [unless it was to call their parents]  

The kids wrote me thank you notes at the end of the week which reminded me that I am exactly where I should be right now.  There is such power in mattering, listening, and being present with people.  What my kiddos wrote proved that to me.  I know that they will remember the time I took to teach them about the stars, to play board games in the mess hall, to listen while sitting in rocking chairs by the river, and even to let them stay up late building relationships with each other instead of get mad and yell [even if it cost me my sleep!] 

Thank you Camp Brookside and the National Park Service for such a wonderful week.  You treated us so well and completely blew me away with this trip!